RK Poetry

Of Babbles And Prayers...

2009-12-03T14:41:00.000-08:00

And asked me God
To whom you weigh
Your night against
The bright of day?
Upon the moon
The sun I lay
Till fall the stars
And worlds decay...

Say I, to worship
You, I may
Mere mortal am I
Made of clay
Fragile of all
Easy to slay
While weaker mind
Puts soul astray
Still no matter
How far away
There is my heart
For all to stay
Wherefore I nod
Through joy, dismay...
Pray for me beloved
Solemnly pray
I know not how
The prayers to say...

A 5 Minute Rant...

2009-11-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

If heart and soul are meant to burn
Let my love burn even the sun
And if a wish from God I earn
Let it be simply known
That from the moment saw you first
There's been this insatiable thirst
And even by His sacred verse
Nothing I'd pray to own...

The prophets say - boy walk this way
To quench your quest of night and day
For earthly joys are here to stay
And heaven's there to rule -
Dare not ask what might be God's will
Care not what the worlds may reveal
I'm needing, wanting, loving still
Just you, my beautiful...

Quatrains On Happiness...

2009-07-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

I bear a red rose, still to bloom
At garden of your shade
Seeking the touch of your perfume
For its scent to be spread
And when the richest empire is
Counting on wealth unmade
It wreathes a tulip to an iris
Never do they fade...

I see a heaven, still to be
At shelter of your sky
Built by the jewels of eternity
For souls to purify
And there the Gods have oracled
Of earthly paradise
With love, magic and miracle
From vision of your eyes...

I seek a solace, still to find
At sweetness of your face
Bringing my perfect peace of mind
For your smile to be traced
And when with prayers of tomorrow
The angels fail to bless
It seeks the blank of such sorrow
To fill with happiness...

I write a poem, still to rhyme
At the book of your pages
For here the words are spelt by time
Written for all the ages...

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-++-+-+-+-+-+-+-++-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

In the form
Of things to be
A freedom will still
Make no sound to lips...
I present nothing
Except for
That faith...

To my beautiful...

The Love Rèsumè...

2009-04-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

This world's full of no vacancy
Nothing to do or say
Since love is never advertised
Sending my rèsumè...

To love you with total of heart
When nothing I can give
By being the only one you love
My only objective...

My skill and expertise are vast
Far too many to count
No matter my experience
I'd never let you down...

Apart from fashion, trend and vogue
Simple and straight's my style
Though born stubborn, insane, alone,
I'd bring your perfect smile...

When world is darkened, cold and quiet
With nothing worthwhile in it
I'd seek vision through your eyes and
Rhyme thousand words per minute...

In business admin I still hold
A degree for my life
Though bachelor to such, I hope
One day you'd be my wife...

They say higher education helps
To move in career faster
And once you accept my request
In BA I'd be master...

When others are getting jobs done
Counting on acquaintances
May God be witness of my love
I'd bear own references...

Rant Of Faces Pt. II...

2009-04-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

Still from awakening, I wake,
"I, good morning", to myself spake
In dim dark room's intimacy
The mirror's shade there smiles at me
A blithely face it quietly draws
I become me off errs and flaws
'Tis been quite long I've had my naps
Now on the roads, I'd roam perhaps
Then out to streets my shadow passes
Gently crossing through lads and lasses
Some scattered whistles my lip plays
While passerbys give me their way
Hungry I step in a restaurant
Listening to whispers, people chant
Of things and stuffs and dates and places
While I notice their smile of faces
Though not too long to them I hear
Their conversation's quite unclear
Wondering should I be hearing such chat
Still slightly listen to this and that,
*Her eyes are pretty, dark and deep
But those chinky edges make me weep*
*I'd surely offer him a rose
But fear he has a sneazy nose*
*Her smile is nice but teeth seem strung*...
"Oh, you who bear their twenty tongues",
I sigh and quietly leave that place
To them dare not ask 'bout my face
Day ends I return to home and yes
Again I'm faceless as always
Putting a crossed glance at the mirror
Somehow there feel quite inferior
My dark skin looks quite frightening
Needs supra-ultra-whitening
My sister says I've feline look
Perhaps 'tis for the beard I took
But foxy face I much adore
Suits my personality more
What if of all my beard, instead,
Peeled off my skin using the blade?
That way I'd root out melanin
Giving me the ever white skin
I'd take some flesh off my chin, plus,
My face would look like foxes thus
And suddenly my mirror's shade
Quite vanishingly there it said,
"If such is so you may assume,
Tell me, then I'll be seeing whom?"

Oh My Country...

2009-02-27T01:33:00.000-08:00

And long ago I told my cousin,
"This country's still in a state that it was in
The only difference after seventy one
Freedom's yet to be freed though freedom is done
And how to free such freedom is a choice
By settling for peace, lest all destroys
But the nation which pretends to caretake
Would find 'twas not a better choice to make
For once you really seek for the whos
You'd find they're not there for me and you
Though you say it's just a way, somehow
To maintain peace and for a while allows
The security of the normal folks
But sooner or later would reveal a hoax
While discontent which has been smothered
With suppression would lead on further...
But who am I? A no one, like any other
Speechless like you, still listen my brother -
Once that nation's freed from such beguile
By its own sentries it's to be defiled"...

Of Time, And Change, And ME...

2009-02-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

Every winter, fog cascades into spring
Greeting its scents from remnants of autumn
Igniting tempests for summer to bring
Until roses meet their finest blossom...
To such, I may last into vast of dust
Collapsed to scatters, grasped along to breeze
For even ancient ravines must combust
And lapse through the void of all centuries...
When through billion suns these worlds have trod
Into limits of sky yet be conceived,
To settle all may to an unfound God
With vision of heaven still be achieved...
...Not more I know of what time arranges -
...I’ll always love you through all such changes...

My Kind Of Beautiful...

2008-12-16T07:11:00.000-08:00

...Then once I saw
From your eyes
Flew a blinded
Butterfly
Blithely went it
Through the valleys
Settling to my
Lonesome sky...

Some faded petals
Were my offerings
My garden had
No rose to keep
It wreathed an iris
In my diaries
Placed a dew
On my tulips...

For many moons
It sought the dawn
Its lively wings
Soon turned too bleak
I heard my autumn
Chorus fading
Into cold of
Wintry shrieks...

Though once a now
Till every then
Some wandering doves
Would soar afar
Let’s cross them by
With worlds aside
Here I am still
For there you are...

And how I wished
To touch your shores
Swaying to where
The ocean roared
Yet rather would I
Remain silent
This moment mine
Is ever yours…

For now your arms
Are open wide
Breathe in a smile
For wind to steal
I’d catch it still
From once a dream
For you know now
What was my real...

And flew that blinded
Butterfly
From beneath a
Lonesome sky
Blithely went it
Through the valleys
Quietly setteled
To your eyes...

+-+-+-+-++-+-+-+-++-+-+-+-++-+-+-+-+
From the blessing of a love
That is not bound to whys
Through the remnant of a happiness
That makes no sound to lips
Until the memory of a peace
That is not found to freedom...

To my beautiful...

The Tale Of Retard From Hell And Slumbered Angel…

2008-12-15T08:07:00.000-08:00

Beyond the clouds of darkest sky
Above the stellar heights
A little north then south to east
Then left to west then right
Where mortal eyes can never reach
With blur upon their sight
There shines a thing of brightest dim
And looms aloof at night…

“A divine spark from dark of hell”
Said one deity to me
Although, the great abysmal pit
Would slightly disagree
According to demonic texts
Written on hellish tree
That thing’s the grave of one demon
A jolly-good one was he…

No one knows who his parents were
Neither from whence he came
‘Tis said satan found him when child
And had his soul to tame
Gave mantra of the sickly kind
Which brought him highest fame
Did all the sins whenever mad
Hence retard was his name…

In those days heaven used to be
Neighboured beside abyss
Because of clashes among Gods
There was a ground amidst
Once every full-moon they’d gather
And after blissful treats
Angelic and demonic troops
Would fight there vis-a-vis…

It was one of those fighting nights
And all the troops were ready
Waiting upon the nick of go
Bended they stood quite steady
But the demonics could not start
Because retard seemed fled; he
Was ‘sposed to lead them in their fights
And wasn’t found, instead he

Was seen beside a lonesome bed
‘Tis been some weeks he’s there
Where played heavenly symphony
And lived a beauty, fair
Breathing she was with smile on face
But never opened stare
Thus wondering stood he till she wakes
For some words to be shared

And ‘tis for her he’s forgetful
‘Bout his demonic oaths
Then once inside that darkened room
On heaven’s level, fourth
At that night she suddenly woke
And met the eyes of both
With throbbing heart and desperate blood
Looking at her, he quoth,

“Beg pardon, dear, forgive me if
I woke you up from slumber
Your beauty matches with no witch
And nymphs are all outnumbered
Whose eyes these are upon my face
Shining like purest ember
With fire to burn my soul within
For ever to remember?”

*Heaven’s design I look after
With closing of my glimpse
My eyes play visions when asleep
To better heaven’s themes
Waking once every new year, I
Let Gods know of my schemes
An angel I’m, Dreamy’s the name
And my job is to dream*

“Dreamy, I’m thankful you replied
And answered my enquiries
It’s been some weeks searched for your name
To write upon my diaries
Hope from my end you would accept
This flower from my empire, it’s
A white tulip that smells like rose
And turns into red iris”...

*A devil you appear to me
Still you are quite well-spoken
At first methought a ghost you were
But glad my sleep was broken
For I was tired of all my dreams
Feels nice to be awoken
So, worry not if woke me up
And thank you for your token*...

“You’re quick to recognize me, dear,
Throughout hellfire I swam
Bearing face of the highest beast
I feast with fallen lambs
My evils know the least of good
And wrists have Gods to damn
They call me retard, since I’ve been
Thus I’ll be for I am...

My evils knew the least of good
Until I saw your face
And felt an unknown change within
With a strange loneliness
Perhaps I wish some times with you
If you’d allow, unless…”
*Fear not retard for to your words
My answer will be - YES*…

And what to say, what magical
Moments were then occurred
Gods were clapping, showering with flowers
While flew the whitest birds
Though mortal ears still disbelieve
But trust me on these words
This was the first of divine nights
With love that no one heard…

Lord satan was busy for hell
And sipping fetid rum
Soon he was informed ‘bout this tale
Through lustrous witches’ hum
“Disgrace to hell”, all demons quoth
With beating on their drums
So, satan summoned him quickly
In his horrid sanctum

Unfound was retard, lost he seemed
Upon his angel’s lap
Surrounded by the whitest doves
Listening cherubic rap
Angry at such lord satan thought
Of bringing them mishap
His army chloroformed retard
And angel was kidnapped...

Waking from that abrupt attack
Retard grabbed thunderbolts
Then once upon a comet’s ride
Circled the hellish vaults
With temper hot as demon’s fire
Started fatal assaults
The heaven’s gates heard frequent blasts
While hell began to jolt…

Bleeding in feet and hand and chest
Still retard showed his swings
For forty nine days he brought hell
Upon hell’s everything
Then suddenly he saw angel
Fainted she seemed and stringed
To a tree on the battleground
Towards her hasted wings...

Though not a single word she said
Despite sufferings forborne
Her eyes still sought with hopeful dreams
For their own world to dawn
Freeing her off the chains, retard
Consoled the dreads were gone
Picked angel up to fly away
Somewhere to skies beyond...

Satan was there behind a bush
Planning his twisted plot
Armed with the fearful sinful spear
Which even Gods would rot
Wherever the targets might be
To dodge it they cannot
Aiming at those two in the sky
Made the satanic shot

Piercing their hearts that spear went
Making its deadly wounds
And then beneath that mournful eve
Upon the battleground
From middle sky, there fell those two
Where silence still resounds
And ever since, that sinful spear
Was never to be found

Upon hearing this saddened tale
The Gods were breathing sighs
Heaven was closed for thousand days
While all the angels cried
A crystal covering they all made
‘Round that abandoned isle
Protected by blessings of Gods
And lights of paradise…

And many stars have passed since then
In kingdom of Almighty
There have been suns and moons and such
Of numerous variety
Whenever looking in the sky
With sob of my sobriety
I search that light of brightest dim
To lessen all anxiety…

So, that’s the same old lesson here
To wrap this crazy tale
With lovely touch of the angels
The demons can be well
Still shines the thing from boundaries
Of paradise and hell
Remember, it’s the height of love
Where those two lovers fell…

Madness Unclassified...

2008-12-05T01:07:00.000-08:00

And then she asked, "oh why oh why
From my life you can't just be through?
Ovr'ly stubborn, insane you ain't
And who I am, you never knew;
This is not love, not even hate
With reason I could find no clue...
What good it did to your own life
It seems you don't know what you do
So, go back to from where you came
For I won't even talk to you"...

...And my naive vagrant unleashed
Searching for the whitest lilies
And he roamed and he roamed
For the moon for your seas
Through the venuses of heaven
Like the mars from abyss
Until finally returned home
Bearing my phantom of melancholy...
Then from my once peering diaries
Fell a lonely iris
My tongue still numbed of the tulip kisses,
When my rose meant nothing...
And my rose meant nothing...

ForI was surprised to see you by a mosque
Raising hopeful wrist on white salwar
And I danced, like the king
Of butterflies
Beneath your throne of infinite
And I smiled,
And I cried,
And I fell,
And I died...
Ever felt me, my beautiful?
The sun that nightly shone
Still whispered your name
And I peered across my lost January moon
That hovered over an april grave...
To the lip of my yes-like face
I found no tongue
To the shriek of my no-like face
I found no word
And thus I remained, silent,
From my first bone of eternity
Until the last skull of God
For my God meant nothing...
And my God means nothing...

Beloved,
I am not of a prophet
To verse you the Books
And I am not of a poet
To praise you the cliches...
A wanderer I am
Wondrously strayed
Across myriad miles of misty minarets
Until you shelter me as your lover
And my rebellious luggage
Is stuffed with emerald myths
That await you, the queen for my sapphires
Crowned upon my amethyst madness;
For your highness,
I know not what else to do,
While raising my faithful sleeves
I could only wish for you,
For I mean nothing...
And I mean nothing...

Rant Of Faces...

2008-11-26T10:54:00.000-08:00

I wake daily from awakening and see
My face through the mirror that reflects me
And although my face it never beholds
Draws a face for me everyday and folds
Myself to me and there becomes my I
Of the selfsame face for my joys and cries
And this face I wear is that face I wore
Unbound to truths and lies, it's simply pure
Then out to streets there are people to meet
One face, two face, many faces to greet
Each face out there are those faces that speed
To their dreams and hopes from their wants and needs
And just like me they have faces I own
Still through walk of life, dreadfully alone
As day ends, I return to home, and yes,
My face of the morn is now gone, faceless
At night I realise that the face I wore
Was better off hidden inside the drawer
For my face in mirror now wears a mask
And staring at me it silently asks,
"That face and this are the faces you keep
Tell me, what face you'll be wearing asleep?"

Eternia...

2008-10-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

Thus I remain, a naive vagrant, to her absolute
Absconded across myriad miles of misty minarets,
Migrating with flambeau held aside imperious doom…
Embellished to rocks and caves and axes
Emerald myths stuff my rebellious luggage;
Nightly still, tented by ripples and edges I probe
Zenith of worlds until the last skull of god…
Allusion could fetch me mirage yet be grounded
Restless I am, after fields after seas after skies -
Alone, to surrender upon her infinite splendour…

Reasons To Insanity...

2008-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

...For a twilight vale unfolds
From dawning of your skies
Passing through miles of cold
To where autumn can rise
Though summer dusts have rolled
When spring was breathing sighs
If you I can’t behold
Then blinded be my eyes...

...For a dimming sun’s fainting
From bright of moon afar
Reeling with dreams, acquainting,
To where sleep lives unbarred
Though shadows won’t be tainting
When midnights fray through blur
If your worlds I’m not painting
Then darkened be my stars...

...For a bleeding pigeon’s fleeing
From shores of loneliness
Searching a land of freeing
To where the heavens bless
Though evils win my being
When angels lose their place
If your face I’m not seeing
Then death be my embrace...

...For a dust fills my soil
From beds of destined slots
Lying with thieves and royals
To where my corpse shall rot
Though with the Gods embroiled
When with you I am not
If this life I have spoiled
Then maddened be that thought...

...For a red rose is blooming
From garden of your dew
Wreathed to jasmines, perfuming
To where a tulip grew
Though black orchids are zooming
With thorns upon their view
If to you I’m not grooming
May bouquets not renew...

...For a ballad is glancing
From walls upon my stare
Tumbling with pure romancing
To where a duet’s shared
Though feet may stop advancing
When I’m breathing your hair
If tuned to you I’m dancing
Then blessed be my prayer...

...For all I have is a poem
From mem'ry of your time
When I'm not chanting your name
Then silent be my rhymes...

Demonise...

2008-08-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

Nameless to your lips;
Penning rhyme of mindless verse,
Inkless words to scripts...

Endless hell to roam;
Seeding wraiths from heaven’s curse,
Nursing catacombs...

Breathless to elites;
Clenching death upon my fists,
Headless Gods on feet...

Heartless to the most;
Bearing flesh of highest beast,
Listless lust of ghosts...

Lifeless to your view;
Dimming beam from flaming eyes -
Sightless, lashes sewn...

Hopeless, maddened spine;
Sinning edge to sacrifice
Myself like a swine...

Faithless, desolate;
Counting fall of straying stars
Destined to my fate...

Soulless, demonised;
Bleeding my veins for your heart -
Such lovely demise...

Lonesome Rant...

2008-06-25T02:48:00.000-07:00

I ink my words
With blood,
Taken from
The pouring shards
Of my glass-sharp heart,
And feel
With every tacit tear
That sears a trail
To the corners
Of my frowning lips...

And I realize
That when I'm staring
Myself down in a mirror,
Eternities from now,
Wondering when
My skin decides to riot
With weakened wrinkles,
I'll see my name engraved
In every worming dust...

[And it isn't that
I won't recall
Every waiting glance;
It's just that I don't think
It'd be any easier on me
To see you passing by
With my eyelashes
Dusted off]...

I bet I could jump
A million moons
And still wind up
With emptiness in my eyes...
Yet you never
Seemed to be
As close as
You did,
When you wore an eye
That only I could feel...

And the distance
That you put forth
To keep your hands
From mine
Never seemed
To be so huge
For I never wanted
To watch you leave;
I'd much rather be dead...

[And it isn't that
You're only one
Small thought away;
It's just that I know
I could reach out my arms
To hug the universe,
Yet I'd still be blind
If I could never see
Your face again]...

I remember
Less and less
Of how it was
To be loved by you;
Even as
I remember
So very vividly
Why it was
I fell for you
In the first place...

And all the prayers
Of memory,
That once were raked
So neatly,
Travel further from
My veranda
With every day
We spend apart...

...[For it isn't that
My memories
Don't usually put
A smile in my heart;
It's just that I don't know
If I can be
Myself without you any longer]...

Midnight Rants...

2008-06-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

Instilling remnants of moon
from midnight departure...
Rest of the underbelly of society
is sleeping into existence...

Some lost dreams,
over my parable of nightmares,
float hypnotically while
ashes move in the room,
and one trunk of verses
want to swirl up thru smoke...

Mine eyes have wondered
when did light
string me off from slumber?
When did every city, town, hamlet
go crazy by the moonlit edges?

Watching the sky so long
eyes are wondrously blinded;
Nodding trees sway their heads,
swelling distant vistas...
And over the night,
under the night,
with thousand and thousand sparks from darkness,
the sun is lost somewhere for dawn...

Would you believe
I lost myself
long ago
within your eyes?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With head weary of thoughts,
I gaze deep into The Book;
Somewhere its silent folds
An indistinct fiction
Secretly sustains the truth
Within pages of ageless intent...
Line by line
It slices deeper into mind,
Piercing thru some theory of everything...

And there
In one brief blink of existence
I sat dumbfound,
Loyal to the listless faith
For nothing ultimately mattered,
Except for those peering words
That cannot be hoarded
Or eroded by time,
As I thought of the believers,
Uttering their noises
From within the boundless walls
Of conscious fortune...

Yet all too quickly
Only shards of doubt
And bits of unfathomed thought
Were left...
Crumpled and untouched;
By breath of The Highest God,
That only the living could still believe;
What poet or philosopher
Ever endured
To embroider
Such moment?

As I kissed The Holy -
Obediently nodding to tradition,
Prone to prayer -
It stated to itself:
With each sight of light
The Worlds flicker
As the faithless sinks deeper
Into nothingness
Of everything else,
Relieved of ears, eyes, tongues;
While faith within faith
Stretch to splendour beyond...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many times, my love,
Has night covered my earth?
Can’t remember...
I wonder alone,
And only silence keeps
My distant voice you have heard -
No one complains like me word after word after word after word...

I make the lips a whistle
And make the poetry a tongue
Only to gather cursed responses
Returning to my complaints
And though I was listening and listening,
From destiny and fate -
I wasn’t familiar with such echo in wait after wait after wait after wait...

...Until a shadow appeared
With a face I knew once a long ago
And then I saw from two quivering eyes,
From that same once a long ago sky,
Float a versi-coloured butterfly
While I smiled and I cried...
And eternity took flight
And the future fell away
And though the past was losing view -
Memories came filled with you after you after you after you...

Tonight I do not sleep,
I do not wake,
I do not live,
I do not die;
The full world's asleep now,
In the yawn of my yes-like mouth,
There is no lip;
In the yawn of my no-like mouth,
There is no tongue...
Lost in the silence of space and time -
As I roam thru sky after sky after sky after sky...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Numb walking beneath the thunder of infinite
Where life flourishes like plastic in forgotten gardens,
Green yet violet when the seasons bloomed -
Dreary and weary now, of dream and drama...
Liquid colours drifting on branches
By rainy remnants,
Brick-coated shiny plates of thirst
Wave strategies of movements -
Tormented by moonlight
Lit by midsummer neon’s temptation
In vertigo, living brief in lullabies of passing cars,
As the nights walk choking
Across pouring highway...

The sky falls grand and full of misery;
Hide shadows beneath leafs
Like born to lamp-post
In the flesh of twisted trees
Where sins of storm and mist
Move thru pictures of victims
Like torn origami puppets
Cut from neglected strings
While liquid dark lights flash by,
Playing wet smile and suicide of innocence...
Walking faceless, watching phantoms
Within hypocritic landscapes...

Somehow, how not sure, ended up at the end of the street -
Alone and tired, oh my shadow,
Do the rain still feel me?
I am no one;
Walking in black track,
Walking wracked
Like those actors cracked on bad luck,
Nothing more than the verge of sidewalk,
Less is to be less of me...
The signs on the walls glimmer in gothic red,
Spraypainted with hands of gentrification,
With lights peeling off neo-multi-story
Buildings paint my reflection on pulsing flash
Somewhere this side of city...
Walking in black track,
Walking wracked,
I am no one and I want no pity...

...For I am just an October boy
Praying beneath the madly moon by the last of June,
Lost over one foreign grave,
Standing by one here,
[Like there is always the death...]
Routing the strayed tour off home,
[Like there is always the home...]
Thinking of a girl I love,
[Like there is always a girl...]
Fumbling on me...
[Like there is always the me...]

...And my memory falls away...

...And I cannot breathe...

...And oh my shadow,
LO!
I
Am
Not
Breathing!
Yet
It
Feels
Like
I AM!
Are
You
Breathing,
Oh
My
Shadow?
Oh
How
I
Wish
For
A
Flicking cigarette...

Well,
Where does it end, begin -
This insanity?
No way in, out thru these black exits stretching further...
I am like the sheeps who go to sleep
Trapped in artificial sorrow;
Dreaming in telly,
In the silence of electric lambs,
Living Jesuses
Living Mohammeds -
Just to bleed their crosses and stones over my palm and head...
But the streets are still wet and cold,
Where my body sleeps like the Gods, roams like the devil;
Running,
Less running,
Less walking,
Less standing,
Less crawling...

...Dead and desolate by the breath of dusts...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I let my hand scribble across withered bloom
With fingers pointed at embarrassed petals
And over the roses, under the roses
Tulips speak to me like an unsung majnoon;
Surrendering to the thorns that stab me
I bleed to the core for a dryless dew
To give you the promise of an unfound flower
That scents the words of eternity...

I let my ears sweep across wandering offspring
With my lobes piercing thru their sprawled palms
And over the city, under the city
Youth cries to me without motherly handkerchief;
Surrendering to its shrieks that deafens me
I chant melody of the Holy
To give you the lips of faith
That smiles upon the hopeless innocents...

I let my feet demonise across the streets
With dusts hitting on mine eyes
And over the highway, under the highway
Autumn comes to me shrouded in darkness;
Surrendering to its leafs that harasses me
I detour to the fancy of your mirage
To give you the whisper of forgotten doves
That wings over thirsty miles of spring...

I let my eyes voyage thru the skies
With head downcast and folded in thoughts;
And over the shadows, under the shadows
Oblivion sits to me as a nightly guest;
Surrendering to its wave that engulfs me
I pick the bits of visions from thousand last nights
To give you the duet of midnight dreams
That spreads on tomorrows of all yesteryears...

And there,
Boredom got tired of my darkness,
Until insanity went crazy of my madness,
Until sadness complained of your silence,
Until creation wondered at my loneliness...

And from that lone vast of existence,
This poor, pathetic me could only pick up
A word -
For the heart has come from the tongue;
A lip -
For the ear has come from the song;
A whisper -
For the story has come from the Gods
A duet -
For the passion has come from the odds...

And that passion lurks in my veins like a murderer -
Committing arson, shattering music;
Skulking in my every cell, every blood
To paint red alerts from borders after borders after borders...
And when it comes forth
Even the Gods would cry out for mercy...
And thus I live in madness divine -
Break the spine of my devil and watch me healed,
For no one can feel what it’s like for me to feel...
Give me Ismail and I rebuild the holy-black-cube for pilgrimage;
Give me Musa and I dry the oceans from my cane;
Give me Daud and I kill for wisdom;
Give me Issa and I breathe life into clay-wings;
Give me Mohammed and I swap the rocks for my body...

And yet,
From that mad vast of existence,
I would still pick up
That word,
That lip,
That whisper,
That duet -
All for you...
All on a fresh new page...
All from a brand new draft...
All in a grand new binding...
All wrapped up for a life-longed dawn...

That’s all,
That’s all I can give to you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Thirsty Miles...[Of Somewhere And Such]...

2008-06-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

Where dimming distance is the only kind
Of parallel my longing sight can meet,
These feet turn too large for somewhere to find,
Still sitting lost by lone and heated street...
Where drying feathers roam to soak their shifts,
To such fleeting quest place my lowly eyes;
Sublimed on branches, broad oblivion drifts
Still, blazing through glimpses of leafy skies...
Where shadows get tired of their tangling node,
Fainting from this body for fresher air;
In silence I may fall all weary-toed,
Still the roads would echo- somewhere...somewhere...
...There, by the dusts that wait for soothing rain,
...At my end of your miles, I will remain...

Helix To Madness...

2008-06-01T01:53:00.000-07:00

Mind strapped upon mind in fickle matrix,
frisking random cluster within thoughts;
dismissing timely duration -
fixation tweaked utterly,
balanced perilously,
seized radically
to waddle up,
swaddle down
looping
grounds...

Yes,
it irks
me to think
I am a twist
of whimsy-circle;
perched on tilted turns to
curve phantasmagoria,
by clawing every hoop and gap
with lacking hub to resemble me -
only to peak about coiling hollow...

To Two Magical Eyes...

2008-05-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

Beloved,
Should these words chance to pass your glimpse or whisper through your distant ears; then know, standing this lonesome seam I ink the drops of tacit tears; while drawing shadows of your dreams on tomorrows of all yesteryears...

In times when Summer merged with Spring and Fall stood still to reach its height; I wondered what might future bring through stormy days and rainy nights and drew the colours of your Autumn wings when Winter paled my fragile sight...

When one desert greeted endless sunrise, my kingdom shined with ruinous rays; there vultures noshed my veins to dry, by countless corpses found my place; swaddled in dust ‘neath cloudless skies, long miles of cactus pierced my face and drew the sea of your mirage-eyes to drench the sigh of wilderness...

Once twilight shot stars on haunted shire and shadows took abysmal turn; by the branches where every leaf breathed fire, the thirsty valleys had their throats to burn; birds broke their nests by floral pyre by nodding trees had my prayers begun; to the call of heaven raised mine eyes higher and drew your rays in the last of sun...

That eve when I went to a florist’s tent, she showed some flowers not seen before; with waxed out petals, their thorns were waned yet unmatched to the shade you bore; though myths would say roses were meant to ever last for evermore; beside those bouquets of withered scent, I drew your name in a tulip’s core...

My brain’s not of the wisest men, nor wealthy cottons suit my skin; faceless, alone, worthless, insane, I wander planets of your sheen; through plains of Arab, China, Spain - searching for you each place I’ve been*** and may forgo all treasures when your galaxy’s for me to win...

And now, when I chanted loud your name, one ballad smiled on dancing lips; to the steps of sonnets this far I came, one trunk of verses filled my grip -
Beloved,
I may not offer the best of poems
yet they are all for you to keep...

Madman Quoth...

2008-04-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

Bleed the brain, my friends;
I may lie in sanity
when none comprehends...

Rhapsody Of Madness...

2008-04-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

...And that was many suns ago
Beneath the dusk of stellar scripts
With fading stench of heaven's flow
And splitting of abysmal pits
Where rays the first of divine shows
And frays tortured solar eclipse
I watched your glows walk to and fro
To shine upon my silent lips...

...And many noon have faded soon
Beneath the wait of dimming beams
While sharing wine with boozy loons
As strippers danced upon my glimpse
Where seraphs play magical tune
To gratify their sickest schemes
I raced for boundless miles to moon
To catch the shadows of your dreams...

...And that was through garden of eves
Beneath the tease of pensive youth
While teaming with lechers and thieves
Gargoyles stood for impish-cahoots
Where nymphs await with lustrous sleeves
Until the mightiest dilutes
Shielded with thorns and clover-leaves
I broke arrows 'lil Cupid shoots...

...And that was through a twilight vale
Beneath the spread of nightly fire
With tearing of forsaken gale
Upon the dark of haunted shire
Where witches hum their wicked spells
To fume the dust of sacred pyre
I kissed the perfume of your smell
And doleful breeze of sins expired...

...And then it flowed from swooning oceans
Beneath the merge of orbits' height
With stray of stars in ceaseless motion
Upon the verge of thunderous sky
Where wizards roll with whole devotion
To poison soulful spirits' flight
I drank the blood of virgins' potion
And heard fading of saintly sigh...

...And that was endless wintry scents
Beneath the spread of vulture wings
With bowing bones of forked serpents
Upon the hunt of longing Springs
Where oozing dust of Autumn went
Through romping storm that Summer brings
I sought for hide inside your tent
To rest my wraith of nowhere king...

...For that was in your mirage-eyes
Beneath the draw of dream and real
With flashing glimpse of paradise
Upon your smile; where angels kneel
While demons died with lonesome sighs
And Godly wrists approach to heal;
Though countless stars shine vast of skies
Upon your height they're falling still...

Carpe Vitam...[Seize The Life]...

2008-04-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

With two extremes,
One mind to bind;
Option it seems
With dark maligned
Enlightened glimpse
Slowly turns blind -
Bewildered screams
Till death reclined...

Heaven, Abyss -
Which shall I see?
In Earthly mist
I'm lost with glee;
Which shall I hit?
Which shall I miss?
Infernal pits
Or Divine spree?

"I'm bad - You're good":
This statement made,
Perhaps I would
Please mortal heads...
Let’s change the mood -
Now, what you've read?
"I'm bad! You're good?"
I'll faint instead...

Much to debate
With countless priests
Few to relate
In lack of gist
Though none can wait
To draw their fists
But who's to state
Of who's a theist?

Religion begs
On hungry streets
With broken legs
Till stenches meat
When faithless vague
Politics greets
Religion plagues
With God's defeat...

Mine eyes were awed
Till closing sight
As demons trod
For mortal fright
With angel-frauds
In heaven's plight
And God by God
Fell from their height...

Though holy books
And those who're saints
Label me crooked
To such, I ain't;
From them I took
A righteous paint
To draw this look,
Which none can taint...

Forgive me Lord
Life I've enjoyed;
With sin adored,
Virtue colloids;
Both in accord,
I can't avoid;
Forgive me Lord -
I'm life-decoyed...

The God Who Stood His Grave...

2008-04-30T05:37:00.000-07:00

One Winter, many Springs ago,
The rusted clocks began to chime;
Came wise-men from lone, dusted vales
Dug me out of unearthly slime;
Swaddled in me, I opened eyes -
Shelters were burnt, temples were grimed -
There I was born...
There I was born...
To suck off blasted breast of time...

One petal, many thorns ago,
Carried the scents to greet my name;
From deaf to dumb to blinds to scums,
Forwarded hands to cure their lames;
Peroration of hypocrites
Claimed with me promised aeon came -
I was perceived...
I was deceived...
Believed, to rule with Godly games...

One history, many myths ago,
Unfolded my identity;
On scattered scripts of blinded faith,
Forefathers had divinity;
From solo, trinity to countless,
Was crisis for humanity -
From here to there
To who knows where
Doomed was I for eternity...

One dervish, many priests ago,
Revealed my fortune no one told:
I would trade mortal mouths in need,
For price of platinum and gold;
But then he showed my fated past
With cursed present I still behold -
I was a lamb...
I was a swine...
I was a God with myself sold...

One tempest, many storms ago,
Flashed ruinous rays on mortal slums;
I heard infernal thunder's roar
With thump of hell in heaven's swamp;
Thrown to blizzards, virgins were raped,
While wizards laughed and witches hummed -
Pages were waxed...
Sages were waned...
In ages of horrid sanctum...

One Goddess, many Gods ago,
Taught me of kindness no one gave;
My hapless, bloodied shape she found
And cured my wounds when none could save;
But mine were feet to stray from route
On demons' track dead-angels paved -
I saw my love...
I saw my life...
I saw her tears on heaven's grave...

Then one me, many mine ago,
Found myself standing by my stone;
Ruptured in half by own shadow
To stay the dark of nowhere zone;
Though mine were hands to weigh treasures,
I dug my last of dusts and bones -
And there I died...
And there I died...
And there I died...
With nothing owned...

...One rebirth, many deaths ago,
Brought this me in front of your view;
For you I'd fall, for you I'd rise,
While endless deaths still continue -
Judge me,
Grudge me,
Nudge me,
Budge me,
Fudge me or what you wish to do;
But don't be mourned
I'll be reborn -
Perhaps as me...
Perhaps as you...

Echoes Of Unwritten Verses...

2008-03-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

One day, standing one twilight land,
Saw you passing thru shades divine;
‘Lil Cupid came
And took his aim,
Felt your name in my heart was signed;
With arrow's knot,
Verses I shot
With endless stanzas, words and lines
And they won't break
For else's sake -
Until you're mine
[Until you're mine]...

One day, resting one misty forest,
I asked, "When will my dawning come?"
It loomed aloof,
With howling wolves,
Said, "Not until you're sin-succumbed"...
One rose it sent,
With that I went
Towards your door and had it clumped -
Till all meets doom,
It will perfume
In your sanctum...
[In your sanctum]...

One day one star falling from far,
Asked me if there were things I yearned;
"Don’t ask me, dear,
And don’t come near,
For by my half, your brightness shuns"...
It stopped mid-way
And burnt away,
Vanished beside the countless suns -
Still on with halt,
My star won’t fall,
Till you I stun...
[Till you I stun]...

One day I wrote to winter one note,
As king, "When is returning spring?"
The winter smirked,
From frosty dark,
And sent one dove with divine wings;
Its flesh I tapped
Upon my lap,
Pondered, if now my life death brings -
When my life’s left
That dove will wait
To hear you sing...
[To hear you sing]...

One day I sank one riverbank,
Your boundless miles I tried to swim;
It counter waved,
Having me saved,
And sent one mirror from its stream;
Looked at my face,
With faithless grace -
Your endless dreams far away dimmed -
That mirror will
Be gleaming still
A lonesome seam...
[A lonesome seam]...

One day one lightning roared up bright,
"Why yours and mine rains seem the same?"
With swaddled look,
My sad head shook,
For there was nothing to proclaim;
The lighting felt,
My silent tale,
One dim mist thru its tempest came -
When dust I've become
That mist will hum
And loom your name...
[And loom your name]...

One day I nodded to one God,
Blessings for you were what I craved;
From heavens' pits
That Godly wrist
Showed me a dew from hidden cave;
I thought for while
And found God's whys
For that dew had eternal save
And it won't dry
Will splash your sky
Upon my grave...
[Upon my grave]...

One day my corpse versed to a verse,
Thinking of your eternity;
With sleepless dreams
On my dead glimpse,
Felt words aren't of infinity;
Planted two seeds
Of Tulip's breed,
When I'm not in vicinity -
Will grow those flowers
With dreams of ours
‘Neath showers of your divinity...

The Supplicant...

2008-03-06T01:33:00.000-08:00

Split the phantom from my sleeps,
Passing through shades of Godless slums;
Since mine is wraith without his wrath,
Waiting for promised days to come;
Yet I shall raise my blazing fists,
Thumping through hells' and heavens' swamps,
To offer you Altar of Hearts -
Vow to you of endless sanctum...

Stab the shadow of my ghost,
Walking through beams of dimming noon;
Since mine’s eclipse of solar core -
Dead, shattered ‘fore your life too soon;
Yet I shall rupture twilight warps
Stalking to merge with waning moon,
To offer you Haven of Stars -
Dance with me till fades nightly tune...

Nosh the flesh of my demon,
Roaming through tombs of growing bones;
Since mine is shot in void of graves
With dead virgins on dusted stones;
Yet I shall wrestle with angels,
Strangle each till ultimate groan,
To offer you Hearth of Vesta -
Blast me out where you are enthroned...

Chop the skull of my angel,
Flying through dark abysmal pits;
Since mine is undead corpse of fate,
Twisted and forged by Satan’s wit;
Yet I shall swaddle out from hell
And carve a shrine where you befit,
To offer you Goddess' Halo -
Care less even Gods don't permit...

Hunt the trip of my dead Gods,
Creeping through stench of damping myth;
Since mine is gloomy glimpse of doom
Where witches greet with lustrous pith;
Yet I shall clasp my lethal bolts
Till all the viles fall far beneath,
To offer you Palace of Zeus -
Place you above, beyond zenith...

Dig the last of my mortal,
Scorching through first of swooning dawn;
Since mine is thirst for dust and myrrh
Where wolves play howls with serpents’ spawn;
Yet I shall chant your holy scripts
'Neath willows till my final yawn,
To offer you Pyre of Phoenix -
Blow me to death, I’ll be reborn...

Silent Rant...

2008-01-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

When humming silence is the only sort
of melody my longing ears can hear,
I become a shadow, hapless and thwart,
Waiting for morrows of all yesteryears...
When streets remove me from their passing toes,
Suppress me with their invisible press;
My feet become too large and voice too low,
Sitting weary, alone with wandering chest...
When devoid of passion, myself draws in
Judgmental queries from those I repel,
Though boorishly tired, live prophet of sins,
Letting my magnified errs to be spelt...
In times as such, I yearn for you; for you
Can soothe my pains to help me make them through...

The Used To It Rant...

2007-12-29T10:59:00.000-08:00

And sometimes you've got no other way,
When you want to get out ahead -
My lively father used to say
Quite mechanically...

Then a little while thenceforth
I used to get used to it,
Hammered things
And watched them bang
Through spatial walls
Screwed the doors,
Until I could scarcely recall
What the plasters were before...

And that was how it was
When younger hands
Could hardly grip the nails
Seeing more
Than I ever saw
Learning more
Than I expected
Not knowing why
Things exist
Still knowing more
Why things existed...

And sometimes hope and dream
Are the only things we have
To make sense of what we cannot -
My blithely sister used to say
Quite hypothetically...

Then a little while thenceforth
I used to get used to it
Envying such pure simplicity
Watched her wreathe expectations
Serenely she jeweled
Her butterfly kameez
Sometimes only the rain was allowed
To breathe her completely
Never within the limits of clouds
Always beyond the cages of wind...

And that was how it was
When endless waiting days
Were on an ocean of sky
Without beginning
Without end
And she’d dance by
The moons and stars
Until sailing on to a voyage
Of agelessness
Where the miles she traveled
Were the distance she left behind...

And sometimes, like you cannot reason
Why you love me, I cannot reason
Why I cannot be in love with you -
My lovely beloved, used to say
Quite lovingly...

Then a little while thenceforth
I used to get used to it
In your truly caring gestures,
I never truly knew
What you truly felt
While showing me how the sorrows
Should be bull's-eyed
With a precise and swift smile
To where I still stand hit and dumbfound
Wondering if such beautiful vision
Ever existed...

And that was how it was
When watching myself down
Walking these busy roads
Barely separating myself
From some peering ghosts
Wandering in this city
Shrouded in mist preparing for
The next diplomacy of ballots...

Soon a little while henceforth
The streets will get used to it
For it is used, to echo a new master
Sloganned upon the leftover madness
With promises yet be postered
Silhouetted against the graffitis
Until it is undecided
Of what to keep
Or what to leave behind...
And I will gladly cross them by
Quite quietly
In my silent riot
Boycotting myself off
To where I can rest upon
An october garden
That waits beneath
A july moon...

For sometimes
My sun would carry your scent
Through the bouquets,
On the premiums
When my shadow used to die
Breathing upon your hair -
My lonely rose used to say
Quite used-to-itly...

And that is how
It is...

The Tomb That God Built...

2007-06-21T01:27:00.000-07:00

Do you know of the Sacred Tomb
Built by someone called God?
It's now floating in galaxy,
Though small, once it was broad;
Through ghastly orbit it circles
Where no one seems to trod;
But there were times when planets rolled
By this Tomb, they would nod...

This Tomb was built for mortal kinds
According to news, last;
They had unmatched technologies
Their science was growing fast,
We saw their rockets frequently
And Jets upon sky, vast;
Sometimes ago, out of nowhere
We heard a sudden blast!

We did send some scout-ships out there
To examine its nature:
Did not find any sign of life,
Perhaps won't too in future;
With abrupt volcanic erupts,
This land's brutally tortured;
Further exploration revealed
No longer it can nurture...

We have, however, collected
One electroplated piece,
Though we are not familiar
With its unknown linguistics,
Our lexicographer informed
It had morse codes released -
When deciphered in our language
The code looked quite like this...

" With 'father Sun and mother Moon',
Nine siblings I embraced,
I was lined up in Milky Way
And ended third in race,
While rounding miles of galaxy
The endless stars I chased;
And now upon the universe
I can't trace my own face...

There once was time when I was green
With precious flowers' bloom,
I had the flow of seven seas
With my faunal resume,
All seasons used to spread on me
With their divine perfume;
But soon I saw some towers rise
With toxic fluid and fume...

These towers were built by one specie
Called Homo Sapiens
And scientists claim they once were apes
Hugged trees with resilience,
Though priests would say God created them
In divine ambience;
They were the wisest of species
While lacking common sense...

These humans were once together
But soon they got divided
To cultures, races, religions -
They were differently guided,
While residing on my surface
Fed on what I provided;
Though battles for power and control
Always on me presided...

They dug my layer in search of wealth
And soon they became rich,
Using this wealth they produced bombs
I frequently felt itch
And exploded for several times
But none could hear my speech;
They forgot stitching my furrowed lands
For which I had my glitch

One day, I saw black V of Jets,
Spreading upon sky, vast;
While feeling their nuclear attacks
Saw humans mesh with dust;
Other species died with them too
Now no life's here to last -
Aimed at those Jets, raised my volcano
And had my final blast...

Perhaps there will be new species
Perhaps I'll have rebirth,
But I don't want to live again
For I have lost my mirth;
To live I tried, could not survive,
Perhaps I was not worth;
And though I'm dead, I still recall
My wretched name was Earth"...

So, there's the Tomb once built by God,
It's twisting by the stars,
Floating alone through mist and blurs
Beneath the universe,
Quietly whirling in bitter breeze
Once pretty, now bizarre -
Once built by God, it's wasted now,
Blazing with fiery scars...

A Silent Poem...

2007-06-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

Placed no limit on word
With blotch upon my brain
Meaningful or absurd,
I won't try to explain...
These lines are uncertain
Until the last I find;
My In is tied with sane
And tensity of mind...
The whys are undefined
With what and where and when,
While how is now behind
The slop of hasty pen...
If lost, these words abstain
From thoughts that quickly turn
To blank my head in vain,
Yet combine and discern...
I wonder what they yearn
With passing of each thought;
Can there be things to learn
When nothing I've been taught?
I once knew thoughts to plot,
Which my faint mind forgot;
The blank of mind has caught
My words; so, I'll speak not...

Solitude...

2007-06-15T03:25:00.000-07:00

When passing by this place, alone,
I stopped for while, sat by a stone;
With weary stare, I touched the earth;
I know this place yet quite unknown...

Some spirits fly in distant north,
These faceless ghosts are summoned forth;
I slowly drown in memories
And ponder if they've any worth...

In silence, far from lone cities,
Shining aloof through drooping trees;
Its wondrous pale captured my sight
With whispers of the misty breeze...

The birds above will soon stop flight
With fleeting of sleepy twilight
And I can't wait to fall in night
And I can't wait to fall in night...

An Eternal Dream...

2007-06-12T07:22:00.001-07:00

Slowly and coldly the nights fall to day,
This dim mist covers my frosty city;
With the warm winds blowing the cold away,
I will hold your hands for eternity...
Like a prodigal son who's lost somewhere
I'll roam alone until you've heard my cries
And despite sorrows, I shall chant my prayer
Until the last star falls from paradise...
By Holy Gates of all Godly Towers,
I shall sing your song till darkness lessens;
Beneath the blossom of precious flowers,
Ancient voices will announce your presence...
...When I think of you in my sleepless dreams,
...Eternity's not as far as it seems...

The Silent Chord of Death...

2007-05-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'll dim the lights this hazy night
And gaze into dark flashes,
For dreams have taken somber plight
With their nighmarish clashes;
The splashy mirror stuck my sight
With blink upon eyelashes,
I'll dim the lights this hazy night
And puff the dark to ashes...

The silence of this gloomy room
Murmurs with loneliness,
The vista of my fortune's doom
Hovers this wretched place;
My hands are now ready to fume
With six string's steel caress -
The silence of this gloomy room
Is painted on my face...

A tune is hanging in my wrist
With morbid touch on frets,
My fingers have the spikes to twist
And strings will soon translate
To fatal notes of senseless sheets
From blundered love and hate;
A tune is hanging in my wrist
To blow their shuddered fate...

This song is playing in my skull
When time's in halt, adjourning,
My shadows join my funeral
With pointed fingers, scorning;
Their echoes pitching up through wall
With eerie squalls of warning,
This song is playing in my skull
Fading with night in mourning...

With chorus, faceless phantoms rise,
The dancing ghosts, amidst,
I place one foot in paradise
The other in abyss;
Some angels chant their lullabies
When other sounds have ceased;
With chorus, faceless phantoms rise
While witches hum in bliss...

The six string strike of broken chords
With slide from low to high,
The symphony of crashing world
I'll strum and amplify
And let this brutal sound be soared
With burial of strife;
The six string strike of broken chords
The lethal thump of life...

I'll thump till memories refrain
And heart has lost control
Till rhythms slowly sway and wane
And frets have lost my hold
Till meshing with the dusty plane
Where mysteries unfold -
I'll thump till memories refrain
With final shriek of soul...

The Divine Love Of Thine...

2007-04-29T04:15:00.000-07:00

Thou held my hand one moonlit Spring
Leading to paradise
And sang to me 'neath angel wing
The sweetest lullabies
I saw my past slowly fading
With thy dreams on my eyes
Thou held my hand one moonlit Spring
Washing my morbid cries...

Thou have been sent by God above
To Whom now I bend knees
And pray to Thee the whitest dove
Be over us released
Through soothing breeze of endless love
May Winter not us freeze
Thou have been sent from God above
With Spring's eternal bliss...

Thou placed a tune upon my tongue
Be it of perfect folly
But shalt I let our love be wrong
I'd doom in melancholy
For I have known thy touch I long
Than kisses of all Holy
Thou placed a tune upon my tongue
Turning to thy song, slowly...

For I have felt how thou can bless
This wretched life of mine
Whilst looking at thy purest face
I feel my soul's refined
Lest, barren of thy soft embrace,
In death I wilt recline
For I have felt how thou can bless
By divine love of thine...

A Poem Out Of Boredom...

2007-04-27T03:19:00.000-07:00

One day Senryu
asked Haiku, "Doubting our view,
am I me or you?"

"Signor Senryu,
I blew nature", quoth Haiku,
"not human like you"

Tanka heard these two,
"With seventeen syllables
I need high IQ;
but there is not much to pun
until you are thirty one"...

Tacit...

2007-04-26T07:17:00.000-07:00

A word is hanging
in nocturnal shade of mind,
waiting until dropped

Unformed idea;
spiraling through lucid thoughts
released for the grasp

Unexpressed, unheard
when within relevancy
lies irrelevant

All - blink eyes and look;
Some - with observation, close -
None can comprehend...

The Blood Ballad...

2007-04-25T02:16:00.000-07:00

[Scene I]

There is a hidden bushy house
In valleys of the dark
Its door is closed but windows cast
With sudden flash and spark...

The sun never finds its way in
Just fearless look of owls
Villagers say, they've heard some cries
When wolves aloof play howls...

There are, however, rumors that
Some creatures do live here
People have seen some human shapes
But shadows were not clear...

Why no one dares to enter here?
Well, no one can explain
An unknown breeze of fear hovers
And shelters in this lane...

[Scene II]

A man is walking down this vale
Mister X is his name
He looks as if he strayed from route
From foreign land he came...

Knows not this place is forsaken
And takes some photographs
Some more shots would be well enough
On his Channel's behalf...

It's been a busy day for him
And neath a tree he rests
While writing notes in his diary
Before leaving this place...

He raises head at twilight sky
The sun is setting fast
An abrupt strike on back of head
Forced him to see sun's last...

[Scene III: Mister X]

I see nothing and where am I?
Why can't I move my hand?
I feel the tearing of my flesh
While being dragged on land...

The only sound left in my world
When other sounds are mute
Is breathing out and breathing in
Under these ruthless boots...

Oh! can you give me some water
One single drop I miss
Ah! Thank you for removing strap
But why I'm smelling piss?

God! Show some mercy, I'm human!
Don't hit me with your gun
Why I'm treated like animal
And tell me what I've done?

Some shapes I see moving in masks
I thought I was lone, but
There are others tied like me too
Perhaps I'll keep eyes shut...

Wish I were with my family
My wife, my children, two;
If I could see them one last time
This pain I could go through...

Slowly I'm dying from within
All views have disappeared
Is it called life or is it death
Or what I have most feared?

[Scene IV: Voices From The Masks]

We were humans like you too but
Our rights were disavowed
What we've been given for past years
To you shall be bestowed...

Starting with bombing, killing, rape
Sabotage, mayhem, treason
We've had enough of history
Now we need no more reason...

We care less 'bout your politics
You trespassed in our region
By our God we shall take your lives
You aren't of our religion...

Your countries will receive samples
Of your bodies, henceforth,
All of you will be exampled
And revenge be our oath...

[Scene V]

In this hidden and bushy house
Suddenly all sounds stopped
While some captives were shot in head
Some others had their chopped...

[Excerpt From Mister X's Diary]

" I've been here for only one month
Though seems I have passed ages
I feel I've known this place for long
While roaming these villages...

At first people won't talk to me
Some even closed their doors
But when convinced I mean no harm
I was quite well adored...

There are always some kids around
Jumping with youthful joy
When I give chocolates, smile and run
Just like my little boy...

I once talked to one old woman
She's eldest in this town
She talked to me of past glory
This place was well renowned...

"My old eyes aren't the same, stranger
But I've seen times of wealth"
She sighed "Now this place is like me
Quietly awaiting death"...

Sometimes I hear gunshots and bombs
And people quickly hide
I admit I get afraid too
Laws aren't here to abide...

Next week I will leave this country
But won't forget these places
Perhaps the world can do something
For these innocent faces...

I hope my mission proves for good
I feel for them in heart
May God bless all these people here..."
[And there he fell on dirt]...

[Scene VI]

There is a hidden bushy house
With flesh and bone in crud
It used to hide in darkest shade
But now the shade is blood...

Dancing With The Rain...

2007-04-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

The rain is falling harder now, the sky is growing real dark...I think I should be going home after my daylong weary work...My buddies have rushed to their lodges; perhaps I'll stray in this park...

This town has a house with my name but I'm not sure if that's my place...The shadows seem a better shelter, here no one can see my face...As fleetingly as blowing wind, the raindrops will erase my trace...

Some distant moving shapes I see while raising eyes vertically...These figures ebb and flow away as if the tides and probably...They can't decide where else to go; roaming like me, haphazardly...

And now I'm standing in the middle of this dripping lonesome land...Although the sky threatens to blow me with abrupt electric hand...But damn! This April rain feels so nice! Why I do not understand...

I'll let the raindrops drench my body and recall the time that was...Close eyes to think you're here, lift hands as if around your waist and thus...I'll gently dance away right now with tune of strata cumulus...

One step to left and sway to right but steps do not matter at all...I'll spin around and slide the mud, with howling breeze your name I'll squall...And lick the drops to melt in mouth until the final icy fall...

Just dancing with the rain and sharing its chilling touch with my pain...Call me insane but there's something in this rain that I can't explain...And I know once it's stopped the pouring, I won't dance like this again...

Nascence Of Evil...[Acrostic Sonnet]...

2007-04-15T01:13:00.000-07:00

Nocturnal sky strikes abrupt thunderbolts
Aimed at the cores of all Holy Towers
Splitting earth's surface with vengeful assaults
Creatures of darkness intrude and devour
Entrapped by their forces, humans recede
Nefarious laughters weaken all prayer
Coupling with mankind for hellish hybrid
Evil shall hatch and reside on earth's layer
Onslaught on heaven results destruction
Flock of vultures nosh corpse of angelic
Era of paradise reached conclusion
Vanquished brutally and lies in relic
Infernal realm has crashed the divine
LO! Its shadow is capturing sunshine...

ExperiMental...[Ting Ting]...

2007-04-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

Activating
Titillating
Initiating
My mind, absurd
Allocating
Demarcating
Integrating
And testing words...

Calculating
Estimating
Correlating
Within the lines
Bifurcating
Circulating
Penetrating
The me of mine

Contemplating
Ruminating
Meditating
On syllable
Deviating
Fluctuating
Obfuscating
The possible...

Fabricating
Decorating
Relegating
Things none has seen
Hesitating
Aggravating
Fulminating
Then quarantined...

Renovating
Replicating
Reinstating
To malfunction
Postulating
Venerating
Instigating
In compunction...

Constipating
Acclimating
Hibernating
In summer heat
Irritating
Violating
Devastating
Until defeat...

Undulating
Dissipating
Ventilating
Through vanished smokes
Perforating
Suffocating
Strangulating
Without the chokes...

Expiating
Castigating
Tolerating
The hoax and such
Urinating
Masturbating
Copulating
Excluding touch...

Navigating
Extricating
Alternating
Till gone insane
Abdicating
Abrogating
Terminating
To start again...

To My Sinful Beloved...

2007-03-25T01:37:00.000-07:00

When city streets
Wear shawl of eve
I haste my feet
To where you live

These streets are wet
Covered in haze
The nights are yet
To see the days

The neon lights
Play on your door
Body ignites
From secret core

I feel the throb
Of things to hide
Twisting the knob
I step inside

The flowers I brought
Will never dry
Yet love me not
For nor do I

It took me just
Moment to scour
Token of lust
Is plastic flower

There on the floor
Your exposed glimpse
How tempting your
Savagery seems

From where we walk
To where we lean
We hardly talk
In private sin

With lover's grace
You embrace me
I kiss your face
In lechery

We do the must
Till prostration
Our life of lust
Without passion

I am not yours
You are not mine
Yet feels so pure
This ooze divine

A frigid kiss
A cold goodbye
And more than these
Would be for lie

I do swear on
Your naked breasts
I won't be gone
Until the next

To keep your hand
I won't be near
You understand
Don't you, my dear?

Brink Of Love...

2007-03-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

The days had smiles upon her face
Those days were found by few
And dalliance of color on
The first of morning dew
Would wash away the tears she had
With precious flowers, new...

The clouds had webs curled in her hair
To hold the fleeting ray
But never did she comb her nice
She'd just giggle and sway
I'd rather shun the sun for her
To bask with her in grey...

The stars had danced across her eyes
Dangled, quiet and confused
The time had age long travelling
While telling what we should
But there was something deeper that
We never understood...

The winds had whispers in her ears
Of seasons we all seek
The path for us to forget past
Led future to predict
We heard the autumn chorus fading
Into wintry shriek...

The moon had followed her shadow
To quench the thirsty sky
The streams had craved her reflection
Beside her moon would shy
I'd rather sip from her lips or
I'd let my life run dry...

The waves had mutters on our feet
With tides of glittery salt
But now the nights are uncertain
On turning ocean's call
As we are standing at the brink
And waiting for the fall...

This Smoke...

2007-02-27T01:04:00.000-08:00

Mysterious indigo,
evanescent eve;
tapped between thin fingerprints.

Somber eyes on spiral vapor -
contemplating
poisoned edge;
inhaling
death's breath.

Concrete ashes
achieve height
with abrupt stray
smear across window frames;
pause to stay.

This smoke
fades away...

The Munch Of Confusion...

2007-02-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

When midnight throws ghastly shadows on road
Prostitutes, junkies come out from their hide
"Who are you with such sudden overload?"
Doubt me not for I'm Confusion inside...
To clear out idea, I am perfect
And yet you will see I'm not clarified
I am the WHAT IF's and MIGHT BE's effect
I am the one for whom you can't decide...
Have you ever heard that sound of silence?
Eerie silence, echoed and amplified
Have you ever seen that shade of darkness?
Unknown darkness that spreads upon you, wide
With uncertainty, I'll certainly guide
Doubt me not; to doubt me you never tried
Doubt me not for it's with you I abide
I walked,
I ran,
I fell,
I cried;
Never died...

The Doomed Verse...

2007-02-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

Same old words
There's Nothing new
To be heard
For they are few
Same old lines
I cannot cross
As if destined
Until I'm lost
Same old theme
Restricted thoughts
Same old dreams
Which I forgot
Same old tries
Do not flatter
Same old eyes
Brown and tattered
Same old cigar
Burns all night long
Same old guitar
Plays hopeless songs
Same old speech
With haunting tune
A cold, damp stitch
To heal the wound
Same old lyric
Without meaning
My diabolic
Face is grinning
Same old start
For place to be
Same old is heart
With same old me
Same old break
And same old pause
Same old mistake
Without a cause
Same old state
Same old resume
Same old fate
This verse is doomed...

Addicted To You...

2007-02-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

The want
It burns
It grows
Inside
I can't
Control
The thirst
I tried
To hit
It hard
But it
Won't quit
This shit's
Too strong
For me
To beat
My hands
My feet
Want to
Repulse
I stand
I sit
Soon I
Convulse
I need
To get
Rid of
It now
Succeed
I can't
It won't
Allow
I stretch
Myself
Upon
The floor
I'm drenched
And tired
But can't
Ignore
The taste
It gives
I've felt
Before
I haste
It says,
"Option's
Not yours
You shook
You craved
You looked
I saved
You took
I gave
You're hooked
...Enslaved
Deny
Me not
For I'm
Inside
And I
Won't let
You go,
Can't hide.
Alive
I'll be
Until
You ache
What I've
To give
I'll give
You'll take
You'll try
To fight
But you
Can't win
So why
You fight?
Give in
GIVE IN!
Demands
My pride
Honor,
I gave.
Commands
As if
I am
Its slave
Slowly
I move
Towards
Its end
Wholly
Consumed
By it
My friend...
One dose
Of it
It's through
My veins
I'm close
To death
Can't feel
The pain
It lures
Urges
Rages
Through spine
For pure
Taste of
Opium
Divine...

I've to
Have you
I know
For sure
For you
I have
Found out
No cure
With you
I can
Not live
No doubt
Yet you
I can
Not live
Without
I hate
You for
What you
Have caused
And yet
I love
You for
No cause
I love
You more
Than I
May need
Enough
Is less
Now you're
My greed
The crave
Hunger
For you
In me
You gave
And now
I can't
Be free
I hate
You so
But now
I know
It's late
For me
To let
You go...

The Destiny Unknown...

2007-02-09T03:57:00.000-08:00

The sky seems hollow where the stars hang dull
The lifeless moon slowly fades through my skull
I drift through the track of infinite night
Covered in the mist of eternal null...
Twisting in the light of may be and might
Occasional butterflies catch my sight
But worry not for soon I'll disappear
To leave is be left and be left is right...
Aimless roads, never getting anywhere
From somewhere I came to a place nowhere
A thousand miles crossed and thousands to tread
Beyond nowhere; never here, never there...
Life is alone in this unknown arcade
With darkness behind and darkness ahead
My shadow and myself walk to and fro
Where did I begin and where do I end?
From a place, far and a time long ago
To a place and a time that I don't know...

To My Dawning...

2007-02-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

The Prelude To Conclude...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end is easy to begin, my love
From the beginning we start to conclude
As if predestined from sources above
We all will end in time because we should...
You might think I'm blaming that same old fate
Yes, the lexicon had no perfect word
You're right if thought I'll talk of love and hate
Mine's not a story none has ever heard...
With a simple life I'm a simple man
To love you madly is I'd simply do
When all are to end from where they began
Would that mean for me not to continue?
...Without the words being more distended
...I'll let me begin from where I ended...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wanted...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a no one's fame, my name no one knew
When I walked alone that deserted street
From where I came even I couldn't view
And there you stood 'bout two inches, five feet...
It's not that you were the only around
Nor that for me girls would forgo duty
Don't know about you but I was spellbound
For I've never seen such simple beauty...
Friends said, to watch you like that, I shouldn't
From boys like me you would keep your distance
Yet wouldn't quit watching coz I couldn't
Would you blame if I forgot existence?
...Given the chance that you were by me here
...I'd be watching you for year after year...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Misfit...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She walks in beauty" and me walks buffoon
"She talks so sweetie"; me admits me yells
"She sings like the birds"; me has hellish tune
"She won't speak a word"; reason me can't tell...
I know that I'm not the nicest fellow
And I cannot sing you the sweetest song
Folks say I carry The-Devil's-Halo
But to you I won't do the slightest wrong...
I want to talk to you, hour after hour
Want to be with you where I've never been
I need to know the source of this power
That shifts me insane when you are not seen...
...Don't turn away, let your mouth be unchained
...And I'll tell you things I cannot explain...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Eyes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deep
Deeper
Deepest black
Silent attack
Your eyes on mine, brown
Glisten, "Listen you clown
Either you will turn eyes back
Or I will smack them if not down"
So do it for mine are mesmerized...
And I do not think you realized
I'm spiraling through paradise
Though I've the wrong impression
If we exchange vision
You will clearly see
You want to be
Reflection
Of my
Eyes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blue Orchid...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon the Uni portal, watching all the passing mortals
Over heads of many studious fellows whom I would gladly ignore
While my legs were hanging, awkward, left leg, right leg backward, forward
Suddenly came crashing downward, cowardly upon the floor
" 'Tis no other head," I muttered, "For whom I jumped off to floor"
There you stood while I'm on floor...

Startled at my sudden falling, your amazed face I'm recalling
But my styling made you smiling which I've never seen before
Though I admit that sub-mission was not quite a good decision
And despite my pre-position I don't know why my back sore
You shook head and passed me by perhaps you thought I'm junkie or
Monkey at the Uni door...

"Ouch" I screamed and hardly stood, I rubbed my hand upon confused eye
In that undecided mood my mind was thinking, "I'm a dork!
She was right there but I let pass, tumbled as if wheel out of gas
Should not I be kicking own ass repeatedly back and forth?"
Since 'twas hard to move my own back, harder I kicked on the floor
"Ouch" to shout and nothing more...

On my way to home, quite trampled, I planned simple, picked one sample
For you, wished it would be ample to show it's you I adore
Although I'd have chosen red rose, or white or black or what who knows?
That blue orchid seemed to be close matching to the shade you wore
This I thought of that blue orchid for roses I was not sure
Unmatched to your bold allure...

Next day by the Uni portal not atop the passing mortals
For I have known it is fatal when body crashes on floor
Let myself be my guarantor, I've become The-Myself-Mentor
While on hang the legs act traitor empty space they do abhor
Down from portal I'm a mortal and to myself I assure
I'll be hanging nevermore...

Time was slow in expectation of your face in population
Impatient, with hesitation asked where'bouts to friend of yours
No class today told by your friend, coming day I'll have to depend
On the coming lonesome weekend, wished the days were less, not more
Wished that orchid will not wither and will last for some days more
One day, two days, three days, four...

Back upon the Uni portal away from all other mortals
In my pocket that blue orchid changed to shade the twilight bore
Suddenly I felt quite morbid I did what doctors may forbid
Looking at that withered orchid from it had the petals tore
Then started eating those petals, no instinct of herbivore
Last in me forevermore...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Uninvited...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hate!
oh how
I hate thee
and thy presence.
I wish thee were dead
in thy adolescence.
Thee would not have been this far;
I would not have seen thee with her
Oh! How beautiful she looked alone!
I was to ask her to take my own;
Yet before the words could be quoth
smashed was I to see thee both!
Though there's no disrespect
sometimes I suspect
I can hardly
look at thee
with such
Loathe...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ConFined...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, there I was, you on the otherside
Since there's someone else, my love would not last
But there was this feeling I could not hide
If I said I still love you, would you trust?

Heard about it, never thought it'd be real
Sudden knock-down punch when love's tri-angled
And all I wanted to say how I feel
I did not know my life would be tangled...

And thence you saw me coming to you near
But pretended my shape could not be found
When you walked away, inside I could hear
A dark tempest that rages without sound...
...Unspoken words were for me to confine
...Couldn't tell you that you're mine and I'm thine...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Autistic Mind...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Placed in limbo
Stretched akimbo
The corpse of faith
Hangs upside down
Abandoned with
My unknown guilt
My soul's roaring
One thousand hounds...
I'm just staring
I'm not hearing
I'm not feeling
What's actual
I'll be killing
Not concealing
Insanity
Perpetual...
Humanity
Is dead in me
My mind's abyss
Will Demon-Straight
How beasts unleash
Prey on their feast
With fist of pure
And perfect hate...
I need no cure
Need you for sure
Your bold allure
I can't resist
But you ignore
Fuck you coz your
Ignorance hath
Showed me no bliss...
This wrist of wrath
On blood-bathed path
And punctured chest
Surround in me
A dark tempest
From scarlet depths
Rages through spine
Quite soundlessly...
You see no sign
That I'm not fine
But you can't say
What I might do
I may display
To your dismay
The sight of hell
I'm going through...
The bad-luck smell
Of dark expelled
The slightest white
That used to be
I'll wrong your right
Turn off your light
You'll envision
The beast in me...
Gained precision
In strayed vision
Unholy thoughts
Are to succumb
You want me not
Well thanks a lot
Won't recognize
What I've become...
Demoralized
With somber eyes
I banged my face
Against the wall
Detached, displaced
Debased, disgraced
Cannot express
What was my fault...
I hate this place
I hate his face
This hatred is
The source of joy
A cold dismiss
To all your bliss
And whom you like
Shall be destroyed...
Dark angels smiled
In cut-throat style
And my mind plays
The Evil part
Saw a man's face
Chopped off its place
I picked it up
Nailed in your heart...
And there I laughed
And there I laughed
And then I fell
And then I cried
I cannot tell
Why I'm not well
I cannot live
I cannot die...
I'm not the me
I used to be
SOMEONE KILL ME
Can't kill myself
But I can't see
You're not with me
And you can't be
With someone else...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blackout...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soundless voices, nefarious laughter
This dark symphony echoes through my space
Beneath the black beam of night, I alter
To the man that I fear and cannot face...
When in silence, your voice could still be heard
I recall the time I grew decrepit
And listened to your condescending word
Like one f u c k e d up origami puppet...
I was not the nice type of man, you see
Now this good-for-nothing turned bad for all
And I wonder how you would picture me
With your man's face chopped off, nailed to the wall...
...Trapped in the core of hemoglobin tide
...My perfect blackout is your safest hide...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Paranoia...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is it I feel?
If it has this strength to kill
Wonder if it's real...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued...

A Love Poem I Tried To Write...

2006-06-03T01:27:00.000-07:00

A love poem I tried to write
Pondered about from where to start
Thinking of you on one lone night
It started from inside my heart...

I know mere words are not enough
I think of theme and syllable
To offer you eternal love
In finest structure possible...

Before writing I told myself
Rhythm's to be proportional
But you are poetry yourself
For you rhyming is optional...

To be freaky is my fashion
I know sometimes I force my line
But if you read 'bout my passion
You will think this poem is fine...

Times New Roman or Arial
Searched PC for the richest text
For you to read what I've to tell
But they can't put me to your next...

I hope I've courage to propose
My silent love is hard to keep
This love poem that I've composed
Shall touch your heart into the deep...

I did care less 'bout emotion
Now realize that love was true
I am sorry for making fun
But not sorry for loving you...

My path, astray, I've left behind
Though morbidly I'm roaming earth
With only your thought on my mind
Wishing someday I'd be your worth...

I wonder what you're doing now
I wish by your side I could be
It's been some years since I saw thou
I know you're still the same for me...

Your vision's all I try to sketch
From word to line to each stanza
Had I drawn your beautiful face
Would be an extravaganza...

Words after words upon some words
The lines just seem to be attached
As if they're waiting to be heard
Trying to find the perfect match...

If lost these words are hard to find
And little meaning they will bear
But once they enter in your mind
The sound of your name you will hear...

I could use less word or use more
Just get bottom line of this rhyme
I love you still as loved before
And I'll love you till end of time...

Though right now you are far from sight
I look at your sweet photograph
This love poem I tried to write
Will have no ending paragraph...

Fantasia...

2006-03-25T02:46:00.000-08:00

I have seen you many times in my dreams
You're far away yet to me you seem near
An angel on earth with heavenly glimpse
When you walk by me, ever feel me dear?

My eyes behold you wherever I look
Whitest of skins textured in porcelain
Perhaps the sweetest of fairytale books
Won't describe beauty you carry within...

As you silently walk beneath the shades
I suddenly forget my existence
An iridescent circlet of light on head
Inflames desires when I watch from distance...

Your solitary glimpse I wish for much
A passionate longing to know your name
I'm craving nearness while away from touch
Since I saw you I've never been the same...

From shade of my mind I watch your movement
Scarlet diamonds flicker in deep black eyes
The stars bow down from their divine pavement
With reflection of the eternal skies...

I'd love to let you know my emotion
But I do not know from where do I start
Like a stranger to mysteries of passion
Bashful like a boy afraid of own heart...

I run the space between for your embrace
As far as an eternity you seem
My questions bring me nothing but silence
Are you real or am I chasing a dream?

Amidst the silence of midnight I chase
An endless bounty of beauty I see
I reel back from shock of your intense gaze
Beautiful vision, what brought you to me?

A distant gale howls in my heart at night
And it can be calmed by your surrender
Your solitary glimpse in naked light
Silent and carved in eternal splendour...

In The End...

2006-01-21T06:44:00.000-08:00

In
The end
We'll pretend
We're yet to start
Story of our heart
Which we don't comprehend;
Never mind about our past
What we have now will be gone fast
This life of lust without attachment...
Soon we'll depart with our own consent
Someone else will be here to stay
Not single word we will say
As if we've never met;
Though we won't forget
We won't regret -
We'll pretend
Till the
End...

I Hit the Dirt and Crept in Soul...

2005-05-08T03:49:00.000-07:00

Today my veins are icy cold
Old obsessions have taken hold
Bold crystals pierce through my hand,
Stand, as I, on my body’s sand
And creep into once peaceful existence…

Reflections of myself expose
Those scattered obsessions none knows,
Grows memory, tainted then fades
Invades a soul, cold and long dead,
Afraid but not held back by resistance…

I can’t go back; Heart’s coffin’s sealed
Chilled; can’t be nurtured, can’t be healed
Killed by your torture, silently
Melancholy gets hold of me -
Free from curse of your codependence…

I’m relaxed, this cold sweat feels good;
Nude on floor, yet this solitude
Fortitude my interior,
Ensure that my soul has been cured
…Allure, as I search for my persistence…

Owed To Invisibility...

2005-05-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

I’ve been glancing you
Warped inside my eye shaped box
Thinking, what I’ll do…

Soul’s an equinox
Mind could pour eternal word
To blend paradox…

Alphabets I’ve heard
Sometimes they appear to gloom
Maybe I’m a nerd…

While in my heart’s room
Blood passes through artery
Floats a sign named “Doom”…

Lot life will carry
From chest to hands, down six feet
But body’s weary…

People whom I meet
They appear familiar
Yet I do not greet…

They scream, moan, smile, cheer
Tickle my throat to screech, so,
Hushed I disappear…

Followed by shadow
I tiptoe dark without voice
Look out through window…

See her waning poise
As if time has counter clocked
Without ticking noise…

One face, intralocked
Two distant eyes with beams pure
Zit cheek; hollyhock…

Night’s no more obscure
Behind orange sky she waits
For morning’s azure…

Thin line of love, hate
Horizon tolls on my eyes
In fantasized state…

With night, I too die
For I take on her embrace
Forsaken, so I…

Stop for an instance
Hop with naked glimpse and frown
To drop my sentence…

And I glance; from dusk to dawn
On and on and on and on
Off and on; I glance till gone
From five to four…
Three…
Two…
One…

The Zebra Crossing…[Acrostic]…

2005-01-01T09:37:00.000-08:00

Halt the car; red signal time; the traffic’s mind’s unclear;
Avenue, of memory ride; beyond crossing, appears near…
People rushing, people crushing; holding the ones, dear;
Peep through windshield; left and right; then mirror’s view, rear…
Yesterdays seem long ago but in orange-gleam they sheer;
Neon’s misty moonlight slashes, wheeling frozen steer,
Endless quest of victory for the one you would adhere
Whispers from the back seat alone in front you hear
Yet waiting for the green’s glimpse; the wait’s end is queer
Engines will fuel sorrow or tomorrow they’ll up-gear?
Avenue, of memory ride; now how pale do you appear -
Rush accelerator hard, forward leads another year…

Diagonal Capture…Octagonal Rupture…

2004-12-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

Late at night, asleep; you are in my mind somewhere
Somewhere in my deep, you are running here and there

And I see a spider's head sprout
From it's cave, you scream and shout
As loud as you possibly can
He seems to you the worst clan
Of spiders, hiding inside the cage
Slowly he's coming out the ledge
He'll chase you till the end of track
So run for your life, don't look back...

You might want to back-flip; but I wish you do not dare
To even stop; he's hanging steep; for your life, the least he cares

Run away from the spider my love
You can't kill him, so try not to shove
You're too weak and he's a monster
He will cause you pain and torture
Your milk-white skin will turn to blue
Do not let him get close to you
I love you; I can't see you dead
Not even in my sleep, I'm afraid...

That you might be ripped by the spider's sting, severe
As he's now licking his lip; I can see his bloody stare...

Please find a better place to hide
Let yourself be indemnified
From the venom in his jaws
He'll catch you by eight legged claw
Once you're caught, you can't escape
Beware and watch your every step
He’s spread nets throughout your land
The cobwebs; clammy, sticky and...

You won't be able to skip, your meat's alluring to this preyer
And he's now moving his hip; he's coming down from his dark lair...

One leg forward, filled with gluttony
His voracious pleasure will cause agony
In you, he wants to sow his seed
Leg two steps forward, it's his greed
To reborn in you; leg three is lust
It knows no control and now he thrusts
With wrath; it's his leg number four
So long he's waited, he'll wait no more...

To have you in his grip, he senses you through legs' thin hair
Prying palps to have you snipped; now he sees you through warm air...

You might think he is slow and steady
No! He's taking his time, being ready
Cautious is his leg five named sloth
Envy’s leg six because of other moths
Now he’s sure there’s none to compete
Impiteous, he wants to have you, complete
Leg seven steps forward, filled with pride
Backs up leg eight, his full body slides...

As enough has he peeped; to wait longer seems unfair
By the seven sins equipped; he’s focused on you everywhere...

Oh no! Why did you come outside your shed?
Shaking in cold wind, are you afraid?
He’ll get closer the more you move
The more to rejoice, for his behoove
He won’t have to chase you million miles
Knowing you’ll be caught in net, he smiles
Oh! How I wish to wake up from this dream
God save her! I can’t hear your silent screams…

As I see you fall and trip; Feet betrayed you, now you’re scared
I see you shiver and weep; I see you bathed in silver tear…

One last time you try to escape
But you can’t; this gargantuan shape
Made diagonal edges, from side to side
From left to right, from front to behind
To capture you through your flow and ebb
And now you’re caught in his cobweb
Oh! A pleasure for this spider is thee
It’s too late and now you can’t be freed
He’s no more hiding behind the cage
A match made in hell, you’ll be engaged
With a spider quite blind, sight is dim
But it doesn’t really matter to him
Now you see the spider's coming down
Through his thread, don in black gown
And long enough the spider has
Waited for you, and tonight as...

Towards you the spider leaps; now you see his face, familiar?
Are you afraid of this creep??? Ah! I know I’m your worst nightmare…

Life’s Tombstone…[A Verse to Insomnia]…

2004-11-25T11:30:00.000-08:00

Daylight fades and shadows fall
As dark as the night can crawl
I hear my memory’s voice call
And in my corner of brown stare…

Teardrops fall from empty eyes
Present cries till my demise
The clock ticks on, time passes by
…Past lingers on, future’s nowhere…

The night moon’s pallor slowly wanes
Aged pimples left blackened stains
Sloth clouds appear quite certain
…To not to move with frozen air…

Arcane sounds, murk illusionary
Hazy eyes with head so weary
Keep on watching clouds, now serried
…Covered the full moon once familiar…

I want it bad; embrace of bed
But this haunting shadow can’t be fled
So long I’ve tried, so now, instead
…I full the ashtray, sitting on chair…

…A howling night, life’s diary scrolls
A withered rose, on ground it falls
But does it matter? Not at all
…The moon is long gone, disappeared…

Hollowed memories inside head
Awakened by each page’s shred
I read the lines as someone treads
…A zombie whom I’ve always feared…

With a shovel’s strike, the fate he varied
Inflicted mind’s inside he’s buried
Sweet dreams are no longer carried
…Killed by darkest of nightmares…

My wrists hold out with emptied veins
In silver glass, cram crimson rain
The juice of sorrow, drink of pain
…Pinpricked heart with hopes impaired…

And now I watch the bloody sky
Black doves’ lullaby as they fly
Winter’s leaves wave cold good bye
…To a busted soul, beyond repair…

The coffin’s sealed in squared wall
Agreement signed with funeral
My tombstone is now standing tall
…On grave that’s dug with love, unshared…

Do you noD OR Do you noT: Believe in God.!?

2004-11-16T02:29:00.000-08:00

“Do you believe in God?”
An e-mail was forwarded to me that day;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Appeared a competition, by the way…

Subject’s quite self-explanatory
You don’t have to think twice, don’t worry
Follow the instructions as provided
Maybe someone will think has guided
You to the path that many have followed
Maybe you won’t feel lonely, wallowed
To reply the mail, it has no price
But I made mistake as I thought twice…

“Do you believe in God?”
As confusing as the question might appear;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Confused again; God appears quiet unclear…

The mail seemed to be some kind of survey
Two people trying to win their own way
They’ve to gather 3 hundred people too
Maximum limit together to head out who
Believe in God and who do not believe
Yeah! A nice way for sure to receive
6 hundred’s mind while 3 hundred astray
To be more accurate, in a numerical way…

“Do you believe in God?”
3 hundred to be listed, I can be Mr. 118 on the list;
“Do you not believe in God?”
I don’t know what number I’ll be with those 3 hundred against…

It said I have to forward the message
To relatives, friends through my mail’s passage
Asked me to put my name in a list
Wow! Good chance for me to be a/theist
Ah! Thanks to whoever sent this opportunity
Yeh yah! Finally I can join a community
Of the believers or the nonbelievers’ hut
Was about to put my name on the list, but…

“Do you believe in God?”
Still thinking to put my name so that a theist I can be;
“Do you not believe in God?”
As always I thought again; maybe my mistake number 3…

I thought it was quite interesting
To know how people are manifesting
Someone Who can never be manifested
By number, name; yet it’s re-quested
I even don’t know shall I say “Oh! God”
Or Allah, Brahma or as some say Lord?
It might be a game for these two people
But this question’s answer isn’t that simple…

“Do I believe in God?”
I asked myself but didn’t reply;
“Do I not believe in God?”
Doesn’t matter to me, myself and I…

I do not believe in anything blindly
But I do believe in being kindly
Though sometimes I’ve to be a bit evil
But not to those kind hearted people
Who stand with me through thin and thick
To them I’ll always be humble, meek
I don’t know how they get their God worded
But don’t worry, that message I’ve forwarded…

“Do you believe in God?”
I hope some of my friends fill up the list out there;
“Do you not believe in God?”
You might label them atheist but do you think I care?

As far as my answer goes about God
I listen to my head so my mind nods
Unto Whoever created this world, beautiful
Now being destructed by some people, cruel
With their hands scratching on their guns
Battling their ways out for reasons none
Power, money, control; are these all they want?
Then I’ve to say I don’t believe God and can’t
Find any reason why God bothered conceiving
To create this earth, where people are grieving
For loss of dear ones, as they are lying dead
With revenge in head, picked up hand grenade
With that same old hand that God had gifted
Now throwing bombshells and this world shifted
From green peace to a fiery place leaving ash
To shoot each other, at each other they smashed
Now crawling with broken bones on a land of hate
This wasn’t what God had in mind and I bet
When God gave you those hands, you had option
To weigh right and wrong to Right’s proportion
To nurture the wounded like healing hand of priest
But I’m sorry to say you turned yourselves to beasts
Now we’re all paying price, everything has its cost
Power, money, control? Backfired, battle lost…

Hey! “Do you believe in God?”
Ask yourself first and then you ask me;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Ask yourself again, still God’s mystery?

I don’t know how these two people got us selected
Be theist or atheist; random choice to be elected?
Maybe God wanted to check humans, how’d they perceive
But humans lost humanity and that’s what I believe
So I believe in this simple thing called “Humanity”
Which does not depend on anyone’s Christianity
Or someone’s being Pagan, Muslim or Hindu
And now I forward your question to you…

So, “Do you believe in God?”
Hope you number out God through your survey’s weighting;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Who was the winner?
Let me know, I’ll be waiting…

Talking To God, Probably...

2004-11-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

I look inside my heart
Look inside my mind and soul
My thoughts end then restart
Still Your mystery don’t unfold…

All my thoughts and feelings
They seem to be constricted
As You appear so concealing
Or have You ever existed?

My question is quite simple
But the answer to me seems hard
As You fluctuate from temple
To Mosque or Church’s yard…

This question I have mentioned
To pundits and the priests
“His existence shalt not be questioned”
While some labeled me “ATHEIST”…

“Thou ignorant, thou unaware
His presence forever gleams
Thou shalt be bewared
Thou shalt be afraid of Him”…

“His touch can give thou bliss
He can lead thou through pain’s path
Then thou shalt know Who He’s
When thou suffer His wrath”…

Others said You’re kind, fair
Just, to those who search for Thee
“Shalt I love God, shalt I fear?”
A new question popped up in me…

While some were quite patient
To respond to my inquisition
But I was still unpleasant
Roaming with dissatisfaction…

So, in quest of my answer
The Holly Books I went through
They said You’re The Above, Master
The mortals’ eyes cannot see You…

Many religions to be conceived
Some accepted, some refused
Describing religion as perceived
But they all made me confused...

You speak different languages
Depending on Bible, Geetah, Quraan
You kept changing with edges
Are You several, are You one?

Many Gods worshipped by Hindus
One Allah for the Muslims
Messengers were sent by You
For Christianity’s stream…

Some believe You’re nonexistent
Some are followers of Buddhism
While some are just resistant
Don’t follow You, that’s Satanism…

Male and female Gods from Mythology
Romans, Greeks even have pictures
Yet again I seek for apology
They made me dubious about Your gender…

The Pagans dressed You up great
I guessed I’d at last see your face
You looked beautiful in that state
But to be frank, You seemed lifeless…

There have been many religions
Within them are several sects
Now You make Your decision
And tell me which You is perfect?

Some said You're above there
I looked up but couldn’t see
Retarded with my brown stare
Again I looked inside of me…

I have never seen Your face
But sometimes I think I've seen
I’m always lost without a trace
Keep wandering, where You've been?

People talk about Your wonders
But I wonder about Your creations
Should I blame You for the thunders
Or are the people causing destructions?

Equipped with religious faith
People fight for Your cause
Maybe You blessed them with
War; It’s peace…Or curse?

Politicians spreading fake words
Using You just to be voted
Hey! Did You create the world
Or were You created?

Disheartened as I can be
I thought I will let You go
Off mind; But this curiosity
To find You, thus and so…

I searched You in my pocket
At depart-mental store, in gunny
Instead, I grabbed my wallet
And You appeared money…

I searched You upside down my stair
Searched the ceiling, searched the ground
I searched You everywhere
But You were never found…

I searched You in my bookshelf
You were three letters in dictionary
Enveloped in noun, saw Yourself
You were too intransitive, verbally…

So, I thought I'd walk my own way
Built on my faith, thus I ride
I wish I don’t go astray
When I am for me as my guide...

I’ve beliefs to carry my life through
As variation is Your notion
It doesn’t mean I don’t think of You
But I no longer ask my question…

You'll probably put me through hell
Offended You, maybe it wasn't fair
I’ve heard heaven's alluring tale
But still I do not care...

This world is quite enough
I enjoy every single moment
So, I pray if You're above
And of course, if You’re present...

I’ve heard a thing called rebirth
Do me a favor if You can
I may not be of worth
But still, please make me human...

I know You aren’t time or air
They always seem to quit us
Yet You’re invisibly everywhere
I heard You’re ubiquitous…

Maybe You enjoy invisibility
Maybe You’re shy to be visible
I’ll still search for You in “Humanity”
And last request to You, if possible…

Put people on right track; make aware
Of their might; it seems to be spent
On wrong purposes with their power
But I heard You’re omnipotent…

So, I won’t ask You to bless
me; nor I’ll shout for my bliss
Just make this earth a better place
And give all a little peace…

And I beg pardon, I am sorry
If I questioned Your about
It’s hard to believe Who I can't see
I'm just a human with my doubts...

Oh! To ask You, I forgot
Until the day I die
Again, hope I offend You not
Would You be by my side?

Anyways, I know someday I’ll die
Maybe then I’ll see You somewhere
Jail of Hell or Heaven’s sky
Again, who on the earth cares…

“Hey! Who on earth you think you’re talking?
There’s no body I can see!”
Oh God! Thought You were walking
When I looked inside of me
Who knows...
Maybe it was Thee…
Probably…

The Time's Riddle...[A Verse To Time Pass]...

2004-10-26T01:14:00.000-07:00

Since the dawning, I've existed
Of this world, but didn't cry
To be happy, I have resisted
I wasn't born, I'll never die...

I am as old as the history
With me eras continued
I've seen destruction, misery
But I get myself renewed...

The sun used to be my measure
With vertical stick on land
I also drifted down my leisure
Inside glass, with ruin, sand...

Now the Greenwich is my standard
But I'm always changing states
On your walls I've also wandered
I'm in calendar with dates...

From second, minute, hour
To your every passing moment
To day, week, month, year
You'll remember me you've spent...

Autumn, spring, fall, summer
Winter might give you chokes
My seasons are everywhere
I'm dressed in grandpa's cloak...

Noun, adjective, verb
I speak different parts of speech
With me you might lose nerve
But some lessons I might teach…

Past, present and future
I'm tensed by the Grammar
Some say I've caused torture
While some recall my glamour...

With me you take ride toward
The past, when present's mist
So you better look forward
Still I'm there round your wrist...

With me you have to keep pace
If you're advance, you'll wait
You'll be lost without a trace
You will miss me if you're late...

Even I don't know when I'll end up
To me, my fate's a mystery
I may fall or I may stand up
Maybe God knows my destiny...

You might be quite unable
To deal with me, you might sigh
Pick me up from table
Throw out through window, see me fly...

Maybe I'm inside your heart
Maybe I'm for you to feel
Unlike you, I can't be torn apart
But with me you might be healed...

I was there by your side
When you were writing this rhyme
I'll be there when all have died
I'll be in your songs, in chimes...

I don't know who named me this
I guess a wordsmith on his chair
Etymology; the person’s English
And had some of me to spare...

So, to understand me better
I was put in dictionary
Now you read my first letter
With your morning's cup of T...

I M standing betwixt as riddle
And you're yet to get my notion
As my last letter sank in middle
Of deep sEa or the ocEan...

Don’t mistake me with air
Who keeps changing direction
But I was and will be there
Till we meet our extinction…

To you nothing I can give
But at mes you want some more
For the me being, I’ll leave
Yeah! Some mes, I make you bored…

Wish you’re having a me nice
And I hope your mes are better
Till the future me arrives
Until next me, see you later…

And I'm someone you can't see
Yet you watch me pass you by
But you will never catch me
Can you tell me who am I?

PainTing...

2004-10-07T06:08:00.000-07:00

Feeling worse
As always, usual;
Coloring canvas
Knife, needle…

Brush’s shove
White abates
Green rebuffs
Cyan dilates
Fuchsine clouds
Sorrow lingers
Silenced sounds
Cutthroat fingers
Gray loneliness
Blue recline
Ashy embrace
Yellow declines
Purple borrowed
‘Lil vertical stretch
Hazel furrowed
Horizon sketched
Brown stares
Touch of red
Sticky tears
Silver edge
Pitter-patter
Scarlet rain
Splitter, splatter
Scattered paint
Crimson river
Full to brim
Violet shiver
Sight dims…

Wrinkly pause
Vodka’s whistle
Portrait coarsed
Hasty bristles…

Past vents
Time swallowed
Leant present
Future hollowed
Sleepless night
Dream chokes
Fiery sight
Ending strokes
Void orange
Trashed, vertigo
Vermilion rage
Leaves indigo
Crayons nettle
Pain tings on
Pallid petal
Agony reborn
Roses rotten
Love’s gift
Hate begotten
Peace shifts
Wicked frown
Carrion envision
Casket drawn
Carried on incision
Tortured love
Nurtured hate
Blackened dove
Shattered fate…

Hammer enforced
Gored heart, this’ll
Hang “My Corpse”
On futile thistle…

Count Dracula...

2004-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce myself first,
Proceed with me further, I hope you burst,
I ain't about money neither about lust -
Mortals' neck, red blood -
Unquenchable thirst...

With thrust
I rise from Castle Transylvania
Immortal vampire; one and only criteria
Bram Stoker's character, once in millennia
From bottomless pool of humanity
I drink for my blood mania...

Amphicrania,
I spread from the movies' frame
Some tried to keel me, Cross got me inflamed
Made me smell garlic but ran away in shame
From Harker To Helsing
None could ruin my fame...

Name
Is Count Dracula, I'm in black shell
Known Vlad the Impaler as I impale
I'm not in heaven, also abandoned from hell
Call me the Reaper
But you won't live to tell...

Well,
In earth's realm of the blackest night
I roam the dark as I hate sunlight
I make you feel numb, you can't fight
So, surrender to me
Allow my bloody-bite...

White -
Flesh; Bite one, bite two, three;
Piercing deep in the neck of thee
Look in the mirror and what do you see?
My reflection is dead -
You can't bite on me...

So, be
My double-edged magic on your neck
When you're lying red, numb on the deck
Just quit thinking, don't ask - What the heck?
Nice meating ya,
It was for my own sake...

And take
My saliva deep down in your vein
I come into you and your lives drain
Last bite, last sip, one last pain
Nosferatu, living dead -
Die and live again...

Insane -
I rise from my ashes, casket-deep
I smile after having delectable sip
Red blood dripping from my bottom lip
Yummy,
Slurp,
Gulp,
Swig,
RIP...

Ifs Stand In The Way...

2004-09-15T01:59:00.000-07:00

If I could touch your face and kiss your lips
For once, I'd let you go;
If I could just embrace, with you I'd flip
For once, I'd let you go...

If I could make you happy, make you smile
For once, I'd let you go;
Even if I were crappy, I'd run miles
For once, my teeth would show...

If I were bird, at night I'd be bat
For day, I'd be the black crow;
I may sound nerd but that's the fact
For once, I'd peep through your window...

I'd look for bliss at heavenly sky
For once I'd ride the rainbow;
If I could do this, we'd fly up high
For once I'd make the time forgo...

I could be sun, I could be moon
For once, this world of mine would glow;
Call anything, Hun, or even baboon
For once, you'd at least call me so...

If I could be wrapped up in your arms tight
For once, I'd let you know,
I'd be so damn trapped, up with my flight
For once, my mind would blow...

If we had kid, I'd go insane
For once in life, our seed would grow;
If once I did, I'd do it again
For twice - and you'd know how I go...

If you could be the one I share my secrets
For once, I'd let you know
With my life I'd be done, no regrets
Once and for all I'd let me go...

If you could only stare, deep in my eyes
For once, you'd see my heart though,
If you could hear my inner, tormented cries
For once, your tears would flow...

If I had wishes three, your name I'd shout
For once, I'd let you know
I'd re-right ‘ifs’ I see, get the Fs out
For you, here I stand alone...

If I could take some pride in my hole life
For once, I'd let you know,
I want you as my bride, you as my wife
Till death, you'd let me glow...

If I were given choice to get out of blue
For once, I'd wish you'd know
I'd love to hear your voice, ‘I love you,
Till eternity...I'd never let you go...

Gone...

2004-09-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

My heart
It aches,
I'm weak
I shake...

My head
It pounds,
My breath
Only sound...

My eyes
Flow tears;
My memory
My fears...

My sorrow
I fail;
My edge
Sharp as nail...

My hands
Are criminal;
My body -
Blood minimal...

My tongue
Tastes red;
My nostrils -
Smells fled...

My legs
Convulse;
My heart -
No pulse...

My wounds
No repair,
Numb love
Like hair...

My cravings
With blade,
My life -
It fades...

I'm trampled,
I'm torn,
I'm broken -
And gone...

Peace In Pain...

2004-09-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

Dark and cold you surround me
Wherever I go
Control me?
Abuse me?
Frighten me?
No...
You search for answers you won't find
Close your eyes and rest your mind
You will die with time, so will I
My time will be gone; yours will dry
That good old glory, you'll never suffice
That same old fate, we all await demise
I choose you not and I don't pretend
A puppet you aren't but can you comprehend?
You make no sense, neither do I
You make no smile and nor you cry
Yet I understand what others may not
Feelings may fly high, feelings may rot
I'm sitting here at distance, and I just see
Feeling here your pain or whatever it may be
Hurtful?
Hell no!
Peaceful?
YES!
Why?
Because it conveys sweet embrace;
It may not save you and you may not be cheered
But it's always nice to know that your pain is shared...

Nightmares Growing...

2004-09-07T02:47:00.000-07:00

He sleeps in the silence, something is wrong
The sinner sleeps on; the nightmares grow strong
Waiting to grow larger along with the night
He begins to realize that he cannot fight
Sweats on the bed, his nightmares are real
He starts to shake; they're real enough to kill
…Mirthlessly feeding, enlarging, growing,
Luring, tossing, inside they're turning…

Masochistic horrors of subconscious mind
Nowhere to run so he's easy to find
Trapped into a sleep of endless nightmare
Prying eyes of unknown keep on the stare
Unearthly cries, forever groaning screams
Nightmares grow stronger, nightmares kill dreams
…Silently heeding, speechlessly gazing,
Engrossing, needing, burning, enraging…

Obscenities twisted by a mind of sin
Taking and destroying his mind from within
Insignificant pictures distorted to memories
Disturbingly telling his long lost stories
Waiting and beckoning when in slumber he lies
Resting with its black shadow until he dies
…Wordlessly pleading, silently howling,
Tossing, turning, from within burning…

A parasite feeding on trial and retribution
Nightmares returned from fear's connotation
He would be safe if the past could die
Cannot wake the lie, so he gives in his try
Sleepless in sleep, his reality steps in
Sharp as a knife, it cuts through his skin
…Spotlessly bleeding, eternally flowing,
Feeding on past, his nightmares still growing…

Ever Darkened Love...

2004-08-31T07:42:00.000-07:00

The evening sun disappears
Behind a blackened landscape
My eyes attract no more tears
For too many have escaped...

I stare off into the distance
Lost in a memory from my past
I know it's no longer in existence
Yet it haunts me everlast...

Forever more I search for you
But this distance is too great
My heart keeps on moving through
Leaving behind only fate...

The mourning that some call life
I searcn for someone to hide
A road of alcohol lessens strife
Yet it burns me alive inside...

My soul is as hollow as the cavity
That once held my heart's emotion
A sudden pain courses through body
I've cut my arms without realization...

My body insists on living
While my mind does not at all
My hands are made unforgiving
With blade on my body they crawl...

I drain myself quite often now
A life less longing for future
I don't care when, don't care how
My way of life, self torture...

No one knows the pain that you gave
Neither I have the power to define
But I can't bear it, I'm tired to crave
On my body I follow my own lines...

My body is getting weaker
My mind might soon win the war
I'm plunging into a hole, deeper
Watching my fate from afar...

Yet my eyes search for light
Up ahead piercing the cage I've built
Within myself it's made of plight
Depression, anger, hate and guilt...

Misery that I've never known
I'm towards the end of my rope
A hand reaches me on its own
Defining me, creating new hope...

Pulls me into warm embrace
Now my eyes seem full of tears
They stream down all over my face
Washing away all my nightmares...

Soft lips kiss my tears away
And a voice whispers in my ear
Telling me it's going to be okay
Expressing love I always wanted to hear...

Heavy breathings make me fall asleep
Spreading new breath in the air
But everything goes dark again, deep
For the gentle hands that stroke my hair...

My Love...

2004-08-23T04:36:00.000-07:00

My love is not as deep as the ocean,

Neither as far as the sky;

My love,
You might not get it's notion
So, shouldn't be questioned why...

My love for you is as real as my dreams
Without you too long unfulfilled;
There are no valleys with running streams
No mountains, nothing hilled...

My love is as narrow as valves of my heart,
It may not be blood's worth;
Yet when I cut my flesh apart
Flows the beauty of a baby's birth...

I love to draw a little house
Surrounded by flowers of nature;
Pictured in heaven for you to arouse
And to let in the light of future...

I'm not Shakespeare, Dante or Shelley
To offer you extravaganza;
Yet my love for you is in my poetry -
In every word, line and stanza...

Someone, Somewhere...

2004-08-06T05:26:00.000-07:00

Immobile I rest,
Alone in this empty thought;
Suffering I rest,
Living a slow meaningless life;
Swaddled in black -
I rest...

All I can hear is deafness...
All I can see is darkness...
All I can smell is smell-less...
All I can say is speechless...
All I can feel is numbness...
All I can touch is nothingness...
All I can rest is restlessness...

"Who is there???"
Sometimes,
During these bottomless nights
Such states come and go
As fleetingly as light
And someone cries;
Miles away...
Inches away...
Inside me
Somewhere,
Someone lies...

Descended Angel...

2004-08-06T03:29:00.000-07:00

Descending -
From your dark realm of night,
Leaving your throne of laughing stars;
Quietly drifting through lonely light -
Protector of shadows,
Artist of scars...

Visualizing,
Your beauty;
What brought you to me?
Collecting scattered pieces of dreams;
Let me drink the sound of your sympathy,
Seduce me with your silent screams...

Embrace,
Touch,
Want
And feed me tonight,
Bathe me in your unholy fire;
Smother me in your deceptive flight,
Steal my soul
That's my desire...

Appearance -
Emblazoned,
Barefoot, Undressed;
Overwhelmed
Swallow me up inside
Expose obsessions,
Venial,
Stressed...
I have nowhere to go
And I don't want to hide...

Brightened,
Wings; Sliding down like the rainbows,
We dance through vein, circles of blood
Burn us both with our fatal blows,
I'll follow till the end of heavenly flood...

Angel,
Descended...
Fall again tomorrow in our bliss,
Whisper to me of futures impossible;
Corrupt me with your secret kiss
We both know it's a thirst -
Insatiable...

Once Again...

2004-08-03T05:39:00.000-07:00

Once again they're wrapped around me
Rending the way through soul
Once again they start to consume me
As if burnt by fire in coal...

Once again I'm choked by my anger
Snuffing out the fire of hate
Once again I'm surrounded in darkness
Don't see slight light to abate...

Once again the darkest feelings relapse
Feelings that I used to consist
Once again they try to posses me
But this time I do not resist...

Silence And Your Beauty...

2004-08-02T05:22:00.000-07:00

Dark
No light
Just you and me
With night;
The fullness
Gathering around
Don't feel the ground,
When we float
Into that beautiful
Silence...

Have You Ever...

2004-08-02T05:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt alone
When you stand within a crowd?
Have you ever felt screaming out
Her name to the world, loud?

Have you ever felt raining inside
When outside there was no cloud?
Have you ever felt like nobody
Though the world was making you proud?

Have you ever felt
Without someone else's presence,
Your life becomes perfume
Without any essence?

White, Black & Grey...

2004-08-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

Two ancient enemies, every day and night,
One being black, the other is white,
Fight quite deadly in a persuasive way;
Which one will triumph no one can say...

The white one asks my spirit to heal,
The black one casts with passion to kill;
White, Black - Stop your dispute I say,
Because I am satisfied simply with Grey...

It's My Fear, It's My Nightmare...

2004-07-27T03:01:00.000-07:00

...It's coming down on me,
All those hours of waiting are over;
There seems no part of me wanting to leave,
When I decide what it is I wanted
And I climbed to the top of the hill...

...Then you saw me dancing upon a tombstone,
Digging the grave of my own...
Fighting my evil blues and praising the black rain,
Taking my journey on age old train...

...And you summoned my name
Over the ocean tracks and back again
Straight to you, and then...

...Inside my head you found redemption
Inside your flesh we're safe and sound
With your hands folded over mine
With your eyes following me around
With your breath waking me in the morning
With your smell on my hands all day
With the tide that goes a turning
...Sweeping the ashes of my nightmares away...

Without the rain that kept on falling
Without the end of two worlds coming together
With your red taste upon my lips
With your finger scars on my chest
With my bloody bites on your neck
With your hair curling on my body
With a fine spray of your affection
...Waving the black clouds trying to hide your ray...

...When I slept at your house last night,
More like a flat really,
Had a different nightmare
And I woke up full of fear
Perhaps it was the stuff
I smoked last night
Or maybe that raw chilled bear,
Not sure, not very clear;
Perhaps caused by past forgotten tear;
Or perhaps, thoughts of losing you, my dear...

Flower Boy...

2004-07-26T02:57:00.000-07:00

Travelled lonely miles in moonlight
Under Monsoon shower;
Carrying bouquet full of roses
Now I have reached the tower...
It ain't about money or control
Takes a bit of power...
Wanting...Needing...Hungry for you...
Then...
I'm eating flower...

Hell...Hello My Heads...

2004-07-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

Last night, looking in the mirror,
What did I see?
From this one neck, so many heads
Coming out of me...

One's a healer, one's a killer
One is plain and simple
One's a dealer, one's a stealer
One smiles with dimple...

One doesn't know what to do
One is always smart
One says - I m stuck to you
One is torn apart...

One says - I love you lady
One says - A little crush
One is just fake and shady
One is having blush...

One is always jumping around
One is having s*x
One is lying on the ground
One doesn't even flex...

One's head is very sleepy
This one is hyper-lazy
One is doing job properly
Because it has gone crazy...

One is quite a funny joker
Fine sense of humor
One is others body breaker
Giving them the tumor...

One says - I m brain damage
One's brain is very clear
One is spreading total carnage
One is very dear...

One smiles with its evil grin
This one has two horns,
"Let all the destructions begin
Then we'll eat pop-corns!"

In a corner, Mr. Angel White
With circle over his head,
"Mr. Evil! Lets start our fight
Within second you'll be dead..."

On top of 'em all what did I see?
Another head was sprouting,
"Please stop! I want no more of me!"
Mr. Human felt like shouting...

...Last night, looking in the mirror...
OH! My my my!
On this one neck, so many heads
Who the hell am I?