The Prelude To Conclude...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The end is easy to begin, my love
From the beginning we start to conclude
As if predestined from sources above
We all will end in time because we should...
You might think I'm blaming that same old fate
Yes, the lexicon had no perfect word
You're right if thought I'll talk of love and hate
Mine's not a story none has ever heard...
With a simple life I'm a simple man
To love you madly is I'd simply do
When all are to end from where they began
Would that mean for me not to continue?
...Without the words being more distended
...I'll let me begin from where I ended...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Wanted...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With a no one's fame, my name no one knew
When I walked alone that deserted street
From where I came even I couldn't view
And there you stood 'bout two inches, five feet...
It's not that you were the only around
Nor that for me girls would forgo duty
Don't know about you but I was spellbound
For I've never seen such simple beauty...
Friends said, to watch you like that, I shouldn't
From boys like me you would keep your distance
Yet wouldn't quit watching coz I couldn't
Would you blame if I forgot existence?
...Given the chance that you were by me here
...I'd be watching you for year after year...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Misfit...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"She walks in beauty" and me walks buffoon
"She talks so sweetie"; me admits me yells
"She sings like the birds"; me has hellish tune
"She won't speak a word"; reason me can't tell...
I know that I'm not the nicest fellow
And I cannot sing you the sweetest song
Folks say I carry The-Devil's-Halo
But to you I won't do the slightest wrong...
I want to talk to you, hour after hour
Want to be with you where I've never been
I need to know the source of this power
That shifts me insane when you are not seen...
...Don't turn away, let your mouth be unchained
...And I'll tell you things I cannot explain...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Eyes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deep
Deeper
Deepest black
Silent attack
Your eyes on mine, brown
Glisten, "Listen you clown
Either you will turn eyes back
Or I will smack them if not down"
So do it for mine are mesmerized...
And I do not think you realized
I'm spiraling through paradise
Though I've the wrong impression
If we exchange vision
You will clearly see
You want to be
Reflection
Of my
Eyes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Blue Orchid...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon the Uni portal, watching all the passing mortals
Over heads of many studious fellows whom I would gladly ignore
While my legs were hanging, awkward, left leg, right leg backward, forward
Suddenly came crashing downward, cowardly upon the floor
" 'Tis no other head," I muttered, "For whom I jumped off to floor"
There you stood while I'm on floor...
Startled at my sudden falling, your amazed face I'm recalling
But my styling made you smiling which I've never seen before
Though I admit that sub-mission was not quite a good decision
And despite my pre-position I don't know why my back sore
You shook head and passed me by perhaps you thought I'm junkie or
Monkey at the Uni door...
"Ouch" I screamed and hardly stood, I rubbed my hand upon confused eye
In that undecided mood my mind was thinking, "I'm a dork!
She was right there but I let pass, tumbled as if wheel out of gas
Should not I be kicking own ass repeatedly back and forth?"
Since 'twas hard to move my own back, harder I kicked on the floor
"Ouch" to shout and nothing more...
On my way to home, quite trampled, I planned simple, picked one sample
For you, wished it would be ample to show it's you I adore
Although I'd have chosen red rose, or white or black or what who knows?
That blue orchid seemed to be close matching to the shade you wore
This I thought of that blue orchid for roses I was not sure
Unmatched to your bold allure...
Next day by the Uni portal not atop the passing mortals
For I have known it is fatal when body crashes on floor
Let myself be my guarantor, I've become The-Myself-Mentor
While on hang the legs act traitor empty space they do abhor
Down from portal I'm a mortal and to myself I assure
I'll be hanging nevermore...
Time was slow in expectation of your face in population
Impatient, with hesitation asked where'bouts to friend of yours
No class today told by your friend, coming day I'll have to depend
On the coming lonesome weekend, wished the days were less, not more
Wished that orchid will not wither and will last for some days more
One day, two days, three days, four...
Back upon the Uni portal away from all other mortals
In my pocket that blue orchid changed to shade the twilight bore
Suddenly I felt quite morbid I did what doctors may forbid
Looking at that withered orchid from it had the petals tore
Then started eating those petals, no instinct of herbivore
Last in me forevermore...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Uninvited...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hate!
oh how
I hate thee
and thy presence.
I wish thee were dead
in thy adolescence.
Thee would not have been this far;
I would not have seen thee with her
Oh! How beautiful she looked alone!
I was to ask her to take my own;
Yet before the words could be quoth
smashed was I to see thee both!
Though there's no disrespect
sometimes I suspect
I can hardly
look at thee
with such
Loathe...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ConFined...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, there I was, you on the otherside
Since there's someone else, my love would not last
But there was this feeling I could not hide
If I said I still love you, would you trust?
Heard about it, never thought it'd be real
Sudden knock-down punch when love's tri-angled
And all I wanted to say how I feel
I did not know my life would be tangled...
And thence you saw me coming to you near
But pretended my shape could not be found
When you walked away, inside I could hear
A dark tempest that rages without sound...
...Unspoken words were for me to confine
...Couldn't tell you that you're mine and I'm thine...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Autistic Mind...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Placed in limbo
Stretched akimbo
The corpse of faith
Hangs upside down
Abandoned with
My unknown guilt
My soul's roaring
One thousand hounds...
I'm just staring
I'm not hearing
I'm not feeling
What's actual
I'll be killing
Not concealing
Insanity
Perpetual...
Humanity
Is dead in me
My mind's abyss
Will Demon-Straight
How beasts unleash
Prey on their feast
With fist of pure
And perfect hate...
I need no cure
Need you for sure
Your bold allure
I can't resist
But you ignore
Fuck you coz your
Ignorance hath
Showed me no bliss...
This wrist of wrath
On blood-bathed path
And punctured chest
Surround in me
A dark tempest
From scarlet depths
Rages through spine
Quite soundlessly...
You see no sign
That I'm not fine
But you can't say
What I might do
I may display
To your dismay
The sight of hell
I'm going through...
The bad-luck smell
Of dark expelled
The slightest white
That used to be
I'll wrong your right
Turn off your light
You'll envision
The beast in me...
Gained precision
In strayed vision
Unholy thoughts
Are to succumb
You want me not
Well thanks a lot
Won't recognize
What I've become...
Demoralized
With somber eyes
I banged my face
Against the wall
Detached, displaced
Debased, disgraced
Cannot express
What was my fault...
I hate this place
I hate his face
This hatred is
The source of joy
A cold dismiss
To all your bliss
And whom you like
Shall be destroyed...
Dark angels smiled
In cut-throat style
And my mind plays
The Evil part
Saw a man's face
Chopped off its place
I picked it up
Nailed in your heart...
And there I laughed
And there I laughed
And then I fell
And then I cried
I cannot tell
Why I'm not well
I cannot live
I cannot die...
I'm not the me
I used to be
SOMEONE KILL ME
Can't kill myself
But I can't see
You're not with me
And you can't be
With someone else...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Blackout...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soundless voices, nefarious laughter
This dark symphony echoes through my space
Beneath the black beam of night, I alter
To the man that I fear and cannot face...
When in silence, your voice could still be heard
I recall the time I grew decrepit
And listened to your condescending word
Like one f u c k e d up origami puppet...
I was not the nice type of man, you see
Now this good-for-nothing turned bad for all
And I wonder how you would picture me
With your man's face chopped off, nailed to the wall...
...Trapped in the core of hemoglobin tide
...My perfect blackout is your safest hide...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Paranoia...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is it I feel?
If it has this strength to kill
Wonder if it's real...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be continued...
