The Used To It Rant...

And sometimes you've got no other way,
When you want to get out ahead -
My lively father used to say
Quite mechanically...

Then a little while thenceforth
I used to get used to it,
Hammered things 
And watched them bang
Through spatial walls
Screwed the doors,
Until I could scarcely recall
What the plasters were before...

And that was how it was
When younger hands
Could hardly grip the nails
Seeing more
Than I ever saw
Learning more
Than I expected
Not knowing why
Things exist
Still knowing more
Why things existed...

And sometimes hope and dream
Are the only things we have
To make sense of what we cannot -
My blithely sister used to say
Quite hypothetically...

Then a little while thenceforth
I used to get used to it
Envying such pure simplicity
Watched her wreathe expectations
Serenely she jeweled
Her butterfly kameez
Sometimes only the rain was allowed
To breathe her completely
Never within the limits of clouds
Always beyond the cages of wind...

And that was how it was
When endless waiting days
Were on an ocean of sky
Without beginning
Without end
And she’d dance by
The moons and stars
Until sailing on to a voyage
Of agelessness
Where the miles she traveled
Were the distance she left behind...

And sometimes, like you cannot reason
Why you love me, I cannot reason
Why I cannot be in love with you -
My lovely beloved, used to say
Quite lovingly...

Then a little while thenceforth
I used to get used to it
In your truly caring gestures,
I never truly knew
What you truly felt
While showing me how the sorrows
Should be bull's-eyed
With a precise and swift smile
To where I still stand hit and dumbfound
Wondering if such beautiful vision
Ever existed...

And that was how it was
When watching myself down
Walking these busy roads
Barely separating myself
From some peering ghosts
Wandering in this city
Shrouded in mist preparing for
The next diplomacy of ballots...

Soon a little while henceforth
The streets will get used to it
For it is used, to echo a new master
Sloganned upon the leftover madness
With promises yet be postered
Silhouetted against the graffitis
Until it is undecided
Of what to keep
Or what to leave behind...
And I will gladly cross them by
Quite quietly
In my silent riot
Boycotting myself off 
To where I can rest upon
An october garden
That waits beneath
A july moon...

For sometimes
My sun would carry your scent
Through the bouquets,
On the premiums
When my shadow used to die
Breathing upon your hair -
My lonely rose used to say
Quite used-to-itly...

And that is how
It is...

The Tomb That God Built...

Do you know of the Sacred Tomb
Built by someone called God?
It's now floating in galaxy,
Though small, once it was broad;
Through ghastly orbit it circles
Where no one seems to trod;
But there were times when planets rolled
By this Tomb, they would nod...

This Tomb was built for mortal kinds
According to news, last;
They had unmatched technologies
Their science was growing fast,
We saw their rockets frequently
And Jets upon sky, vast;
Sometimes ago, out of nowhere
We heard a sudden blast!

We did send some scout-ships out there
To examine its nature:
Did not find any sign of life,
Perhaps won't too in future;
With abrupt volcanic erupts,
This land's brutally tortured;
Further exploration revealed
No longer it can nurture...

We have, however, collected
One electroplated piece,
Though we are not familiar
With its unknown linguistics,
Our lexicographer informed
It had morse codes released -
When deciphered in our language
The code looked quite like this...


" With 'father Sun and mother Moon',
Nine siblings I embraced,
I was lined up in Milky Way
And ended third in race,
While rounding miles of galaxy
The endless stars I chased;
And now upon the universe
I can't trace my own face...

There once was time when I was green
With precious flowers' bloom,
I had the flow of seven seas
With my faunal resume,
All seasons used to spread on me
With their divine perfume;
But soon I saw some towers rise
With toxic fluid and fume...

These towers were built by one specie
Called Homo Sapiens
And scientists claim they once were apes
Hugged trees with resilience,
Though priests would say God created them
In divine ambience;
They were the wisest of species
While lacking common sense...

These humans were once together
But soon they got divided
To cultures, races, religions -
They were differently guided,
While residing on my surface
Fed on what I provided;
Though battles for power and control
Always on me presided...

They dug my layer in search of wealth
And soon they became rich,
Using this wealth they produced bombs
I frequently felt itch
And exploded for several times
But none could hear my speech;
They forgot stitching my furrowed lands
For which I had my glitch

One day, I saw black V of Jets,
Spreading upon sky, vast;
While feeling their nuclear attacks
Saw humans mesh with dust;
Other species died with them too
Now no life's here to last -
Aimed at those Jets, raised my volcano
And had my final blast...

Perhaps there will be new species
Perhaps I'll have rebirth,
But I don't want to live again
For I have lost my mirth;
To live I tried, could not survive,
Perhaps I was not worth;
And though I'm dead, I still recall
My wretched name was Earth"...


So, there's the Tomb once built by God,
It's twisting by the stars,
Floating alone through mist and blurs
Beneath the universe,
Quietly whirling in bitter breeze
Once pretty, now bizarre - 
Once built by God, it's wasted now,
Blazing with fiery scars...

A Silent Poem...

Placed no limit on word
With blotch upon my brain
Meaningful or absurd,
I won't try to explain...
These lines are uncertain
Until the last I find;
My In is tied with sane
And tensity of mind...
The whys are undefined
With what and where and when,
While how is now behind
The slop of hasty pen...
If lost, these words abstain
From thoughts that quickly turn
To blank my head in vain,
Yet combine and discern...
I wonder what they yearn
With passing of each thought;
Can there be things to learn
When nothing I've been taught?
I once knew thoughts to plot,
Which my faint mind forgot;
The blank of mind has caught
My words; so, I'll speak not... 

Solitude...

When passing by this place, alone,
I stopped for while, sat by a stone;
With weary stare, I touched the earth;
I know this place yet quite unknown...

Some spirits fly in distant north,
These faceless ghosts are summoned forth;
I slowly drown in memories
And ponder if they've any worth...

In silence, far from lone cities,
Shining aloof through drooping trees;
Its wondrous pale captured my sight
With whispers of the misty breeze...

The birds above will soon stop flight
With fleeting of sleepy twilight
And I can't wait to fall in night
And I can't wait to fall in night...

An Eternal Dream...

Slowly and coldly the nights fall to day,
This dim mist covers my frosty city;
With the warm winds blowing the cold away,
I will hold your hands for eternity...
Like a prodigal son who's lost somewhere
I'll roam alone until you've heard my cries
And despite sorrows, I shall chant my prayer
Until the last star falls from paradise...
By Holy Gates of all Godly Towers,
I shall sing your song till darkness lessens;
Beneath the blossom of precious flowers,
Ancient voices will announce your presence...
...When I think of you in my sleepless dreams,
...Eternity's not as far as it seems...

The Silent Chord of Death...

I'll dim the lights this hazy night
And gaze into dark flashes,
For dreams have taken somber plight
With their nighmarish clashes;
The splashy mirror stuck my sight
With blink upon eyelashes,
I'll dim the lights this hazy night
And puff the dark to ashes...

The silence of this gloomy room
Murmurs with loneliness,
The vista of my fortune's doom
Hovers this wretched place;
My hands are now ready to fume
With six string's steel caress -
The silence of this gloomy room
Is painted on my face...

A tune is hanging in my wrist
With morbid touch on frets,
My fingers have the spikes to twist
And strings will soon translate
To fatal notes of senseless sheets
From blundered love and hate;
A tune is hanging in my wrist
To blow their shuddered fate...

This song is playing in my skull
When time's in halt, adjourning,
My shadows join my funeral
With pointed fingers, scorning;
Their echoes pitching up through wall
With eerie squalls of warning,
This song is playing in my skull
Fading with night in mourning...

With chorus, faceless phantoms rise,
The dancing ghosts, amidst,
I place one foot in paradise
The other in abyss;
Some angels chant their lullabies
When other sounds have ceased;
With chorus, faceless phantoms rise
While witches hum in bliss...

The six string strike of broken chords
With slide from low to high,
The symphony of crashing world
I'll strum and amplify
And let this brutal sound be soared
With burial of strife;
The six string strike of broken chords
The lethal thump of life...

I'll thump till memories refrain
And heart has lost control
Till rhythms slowly sway and wane
And frets have lost my hold
Till meshing with the dusty plane
Where mysteries unfold -
I'll thump till memories refrain
With final shriek of soul...

The Divine Love Of Thine...

Thou held my hand one moonlit Spring
Leading to paradise
And sang to me 'neath angel wing
The sweetest lullabies
I saw my past slowly fading
With thy dreams on my eyes
Thou held my hand one moonlit Spring
Washing my morbid cries...

Thou have been sent by God above
To Whom now I bend knees
And pray to Thee the whitest dove
Be over us released
Through soothing breeze of endless love
May Winter not us freeze
Thou have been sent from God above
With Spring's eternal bliss...

Thou placed a tune upon my tongue
Be it of perfect folly
But shalt I let our love be wrong
I'd doom in melancholy
For I have known thy touch I long
Than kisses of all Holy
Thou placed a tune upon my tongue
Turning to thy song, slowly...

For I have felt how thou can bless
This wretched life of mine
Whilst looking at thy purest face
I feel my soul's refined
Lest, barren of thy soft embrace,
In death I wilt recline
For I have felt how thou can bless
By divine love of thine...

A Poem Out Of Boredom...

One day Senryu
asked Haiku, "Doubting our view,
am I me or you?"

"Signor Senryu,
I blew nature", quoth Haiku,
"not human like you"

Tanka heard these two,
"With seventeen syllables
I need high IQ;
but there is not much to pun
until you are thirty one"...

Tacit...

A word is hanging
in nocturnal shade of mind,
waiting until dropped

Unformed idea;
spiraling through lucid thoughts
released for the grasp

Unexpressed, unheard
when within relevancy
lies irrelevant

All - blink eyes and look;
Some - with observation, close -
None can comprehend...

The Blood Ballad...

[Scene I]

There is a hidden bushy house
In valleys of the dark
Its door is closed but windows cast
With sudden flash and spark...

The sun never finds its way in
Just fearless look of owls
Villagers say, they've heard some cries
When wolves aloof play howls...

There are, however, rumors that
Some creatures do live here
People have seen some human shapes
But shadows were not clear...

Why no one dares to enter here?
Well, no one can explain
An unknown breeze of fear hovers
And shelters in this lane...


[Scene II]

A man is walking down this vale
Mister X is his name
He looks as if he strayed from route
From foreign land he came...

Knows not this place is forsaken
And takes some photographs
Some more shots would be well enough
On his Channel's behalf...

It's been a busy day for him
And neath a tree he rests
While writing notes in his diary
Before leaving this place...

He raises head at twilight sky
The sun is setting fast
An abrupt strike on back of head
Forced him to see sun's last...


[Scene III: Mister X]

I see nothing and where am I?
Why can't I move my hand?
I feel the tearing of my flesh
While being dragged on land...

The only sound left in my world
When other sounds are mute
Is breathing out and breathing in
Under these ruthless boots...

Oh! can you give me some water
One single drop I miss
Ah! Thank you for removing strap
But why I'm smelling piss?

God! Show some mercy, I'm human!
Don't hit me with your gun
Why I'm treated like animal
And tell me what I've done?

Some shapes I see moving in masks
I thought I was lone, but
There are others tied like me too
Perhaps I'll keep eyes shut...

Wish I were with my family
My wife, my children, two;
If I could see them one last time
This pain I could go through...

Slowly I'm dying from within
All views have disappeared
Is it called life or is it death
Or what I have most feared?


[Scene IV: Voices From The Masks]

We were humans like you too but
Our rights were disavowed
What we've been given for past years
To you shall be bestowed...

Starting with bombing, killing, rape
Sabotage, mayhem, treason
We've had enough of history
Now we need no more reason...

We care less 'bout your politics
You trespassed in our region
By our God we shall take your lives
You aren't of our religion...

Your countries will receive samples
Of your bodies, henceforth,
All of you will be exampled
And revenge be our oath...


[Scene V]

In this hidden and bushy house
Suddenly all sounds stopped
While some captives were shot in head
Some others had their chopped...


[Excerpt From Mister X's Diary]

" I've been here for only one month
Though seems I have passed ages
I feel I've known this place for long
While roaming these villages...

At first people won't talk to me
Some even closed their doors
But when convinced I mean no harm
I was quite well adored...

There are always some kids around
Jumping with youthful joy
When I give chocolates, smile and run
Just like my little boy...

I once talked to one old woman
She's eldest in this town
She talked to me of past glory
This place was well renowned...

"My old eyes aren't the same, stranger
But I've seen times of wealth"
She sighed "Now this place is like me
Quietly awaiting death"...

Sometimes I hear gunshots and bombs
And people quickly hide
I admit I get afraid too
Laws aren't here to abide...

Next week I will leave this country
But won't forget these places
Perhaps the world can do something
For these innocent faces...

I hope my mission proves for good
I feel for them in heart
May God bless all these people here..."
[And there he fell on dirt]...


[Scene VI]

There is a hidden bushy house
With flesh and bone in crud
It used to hide in darkest shade
But now the shade is blood...

Dancing With The Rain...

The rain is falling harder now, the sky is growing real dark...I think I should be going home after my daylong weary work...My buddies have rushed to their lodges; perhaps I'll stray in this park...

This town has a house with my name but I'm not sure if that's my place...The shadows seem a better shelter, here no one can see my face...As fleetingly as blowing wind, the raindrops will erase my trace...

Some distant moving shapes I see while raising eyes vertically...These figures ebb and flow away as if the tides and probably...They can't decide where else to go; roaming like me, haphazardly...

And now I'm standing in the middle of this dripping lonesome land...Although the sky threatens to blow me with abrupt electric hand...But damn! This April rain feels so nice! Why I do not understand...

I'll let the raindrops drench my body and recall the time that was...Close eyes to think you're here, lift hands as if around your waist and thus...I'll gently dance away right now with tune of strata cumulus...

One step to left and sway to right but steps do not matter at all...I'll spin around and slide the mud, with howling breeze your name I'll squall...And lick the drops to melt in mouth until the final icy fall...

Just dancing with the rain and sharing its chilling touch with my pain...Call me insane but there's something in this rain that I can't explain...And I know once it's stopped the pouring, I won't dance like this again...

Nascence Of Evil...[Acrostic Sonnet]...

Nocturnal sky strikes abrupt thunderbolts
Aimed at the cores of all Holy Towers
Splitting earth's surface with vengeful assaults
Creatures of darkness intrude and devour
Entrapped by their forces, humans recede
Nefarious laughters weaken all prayer
Coupling with mankind for hellish hybrid
Evil shall hatch and reside on earth's layer
Onslaught on heaven results destruction
Flock of vultures nosh corpse of angelic
Era of paradise reached conclusion
Vanquished brutally and lies in relic
Infernal realm has crashed the divine
LO! Its shadow is capturing sunshine...

ExperiMental...[Ting Ting]...

Activating
Titillating
Initiating
My mind, absurd
Allocating
Demarcating
Integrating
And testing words...

Calculating
Estimating
Correlating
Within the lines
Bifurcating
Circulating
Penetrating
The me of mine

Contemplating
Ruminating
Meditating
On syllable
Deviating
Fluctuating
Obfuscating
The possible...

Fabricating
Decorating
Relegating
Things none has seen
Hesitating
Aggravating
Fulminating
Then quarantined...

Renovating
Replicating
Reinstating
To malfunction
Postulating
Venerating
Instigating
In compunction...

Constipating
Acclimating
Hibernating
In summer heat
Irritating
Violating
Devastating
Until defeat...

Undulating
Dissipating
Ventilating
Through vanished smokes
Perforating
Suffocating
Strangulating
Without the chokes...

Expiating
Castigating
Tolerating
The hoax and such
Urinating
Masturbating
Copulating
Excluding touch...

Navigating
Extricating
Alternating
Till gone insane
Abdicating
Abrogating
Terminating
To start again...

To My Sinful Beloved...

When city streets
Wear shawl of eve
I haste my feet
To where you live

These streets are wet
Covered in haze
The nights are yet
To see the days

The neon lights
Play on your door
Body ignites
From secret core

I feel the throb
Of things to hide
Twisting the knob
I step inside

The flowers I brought
Will never dry
Yet love me not
For nor do I

It took me just
Moment to scour
Token of lust
Is plastic flower

There on the floor
Your exposed glimpse
How tempting your
Savagery seems

From where we walk
To where we lean
We hardly talk
In private sin

With lover's grace
You embrace me
I kiss your face
In lechery

We do the must
Till prostration
Our life of lust
Without passion

I am not yours
You are not mine
Yet feels so pure
This ooze divine

A frigid kiss
A cold goodbye
And more than these
Would be for lie

I do swear on
Your naked breasts
I won't be gone
Until the next

To keep your hand
I won't be near
You understand
Don't you, my dear? 

Brink Of Love...

The days had smiles upon her face
Those days were found by few
And dalliance of color on
The first of morning dew
Would wash away the tears she had
With precious flowers, new...

The clouds had webs curled in her hair
To hold the fleeting ray
But never did she comb her nice
She'd just giggle and sway
I'd rather shun the sun for her
To bask with her in grey...

The stars had danced across her eyes
Dangled, quiet and confused
The time had age long travelling
While telling what we should
But there was something deeper that
We never understood...

The winds had whispers in her ears
Of seasons we all seek
The path for us to forget past
Led future to predict
We heard the autumn chorus fading
Into wintry shriek...

The moon had followed her shadow
To quench the thirsty sky
The streams had craved her reflection
Beside her moon would shy
I'd rather sip from her lips or
I'd let my life run dry...

The waves had mutters on our feet
With tides of glittery salt
But now the nights are uncertain
On turning ocean's call
As we are standing at the brink
And waiting for the fall...

This Smoke...

Mysterious indigo,
evanescent eve;
tapped between thin fingerprints.

Somber eyes on spiral vapor -
contemplating
poisoned edge;
inhaling
death's breath.

Concrete ashes
achieve height
with abrupt stray
smear across window frames;
pause to stay.

This smoke
fades away...

The Munch Of Confusion...

When midnight throws ghastly shadows on road
Prostitutes, junkies come out from their hide
"Who are you with such sudden overload?"
Doubt me not for I'm Confusion inside...
To clear out idea, I am perfect
And yet you will see I'm not clarified
I am the WHAT IF's and MIGHT BE's effect
I am the one for whom you can't decide...
Have you ever heard that sound of silence?
Eerie silence, echoed and amplified
Have you ever seen that shade of darkness?
Unknown darkness that spreads upon you, wide
With uncertainty, I'll certainly guide
Doubt me not; to doubt me you never tried
Doubt me not for it's with you I abide
I walked,
I ran,
I fell,
I cried;
Never died...

The Doomed Verse...

Same old words
There's Nothing new
To be heard
For they are few
Same old lines
I cannot cross
As if destined
Until I'm lost
Same old theme
Restricted thoughts
Same old dreams
Which I forgot
Same old tries
Do not flatter
Same old eyes
Brown and tattered
Same old cigar
Burns all night long
Same old guitar
Plays hopeless songs
Same old speech
With haunting tune
A cold, damp stitch
To heal the wound
Same old lyric
Without meaning
My diabolic
Face is grinning
Same old start
For place to be
Same old is heart
With same old me
Same old break
And same old pause
Same old mistake
Without a cause
Same old state
Same old resume
Same old fate
This verse is doomed...

Addicted To You...

The want
It burns
It grows
Inside
I can't
Control
The thirst
I tried
To hit
It hard
But it
Won't quit
This shit's
Too strong
For me
To beat
My hands
My feet
Want to
Repulse
I stand
I sit
Soon I
Convulse
I need
To get
Rid of
It now
Succeed
I can't
It won't
Allow
I stretch
Myself
Upon
The floor
I'm drenched
And tired
But can't
Ignore
The taste
It gives
I've felt
Before
I haste
It says,
"Option's
Not yours
You shook
You craved
You looked
I saved
You took
I gave
You're hooked
...Enslaved
Deny
Me not
For I'm
Inside
And I
Won't let
You go,
Can't hide.
Alive
I'll be
Until
You ache
What I've
To give
I'll give
You'll take
You'll try
To fight
But you
Can't win
So why
You fight?
Give in
GIVE IN!
Demands
My pride
Honor,
I gave.
Commands
As if
I am
Its slave
Slowly
I move
Towards
Its end
Wholly
Consumed
By it
My friend...
One dose
Of it
It's through
My veins
I'm close
To death
Can't feel
The pain
It lures
Urges
Rages
Through spine
For pure
Taste of
Opium
Divine...

I've to
Have you
I know
For sure
For you
I have
Found out
No cure
With you
I can
Not live
No doubt
Yet you
I can
Not live
Without
I hate
You for
What you
Have caused
And yet
I love
You for
No cause
I love
You more
Than I
May need
Enough
Is less
Now you're
My greed
The crave
Hunger
For you
In me
You gave
And now
I can't
Be free
I hate
You so
But now
I know
It's late
For me
To let
You go... 

The Destiny Unknown...

The sky seems hollow where the stars hang dull
The lifeless moon slowly fades through my skull
I drift through the track of infinite night
Covered in the mist of eternal null...
Twisting in the light of may be and might
Occasional butterflies catch my sight
But worry not for soon I'll disappear
To leave is be left and be left is right...
Aimless roads, never getting anywhere
From somewhere I came to a place nowhere
A thousand miles crossed and thousands to tread
Beyond nowhere; never here, never there...
Life is alone in this unknown arcade
With darkness behind and darkness ahead
My shadow and myself walk to and fro
Where did I begin and where do I end?
From a place, far and a time long ago
To a place and a time that I don't know...

To My Dawning...

The Prelude To Conclude...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end is easy to begin, my love
From the beginning we start to conclude
As if predestined from sources above
We all will end in time because we should...
You might think I'm blaming that same old fate
Yes, the lexicon had no perfect word
You're right if thought I'll talk of love and hate
Mine's not a story none has ever heard...
With a simple life I'm a simple man
To love you madly is I'd simply do
When all are to end from where they began
Would that mean for me not to continue?
...Without the words being more distended
...I'll let me begin from where I ended...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Wanted...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a no one's fame, my name no one knew
When I walked alone that deserted street
From where I came even I couldn't view
And there you stood 'bout two inches, five feet...
It's not that you were the only around
Nor that for me girls would forgo duty
Don't know about you but I was spellbound
For I've never seen such simple beauty...
Friends said, to watch you like that, I shouldn't
From boys like me you would keep your distance
Yet wouldn't quit watching coz I couldn't
Would you blame if I forgot existence?
...Given the chance that you were by me here
...I'd be watching you for year after year...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Misfit...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She walks in beauty" and me walks buffoon
"She talks so sweetie"; me admits me yells
"She sings like the birds"; me has hellish tune
"She won't speak a word"; reason me can't tell...
I know that I'm not the nicest fellow
And I cannot sing you the sweetest song
Folks say I carry The-Devil's-Halo
But to you I won't do the slightest wrong...
I want to talk to you, hour after hour
Want to be with you where I've never been
I need to know the source of this power
That shifts me insane when you are not seen...
...Don't turn away, let your mouth be unchained
...And I'll tell you things I cannot explain...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Eyes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deep
Deeper
Deepest black
Silent attack
Your eyes on mine, brown
Glisten, "Listen you clown
Either you will turn eyes back
Or I will smack them if not down"
So do it for mine are mesmerized...
And I do not think you realized
I'm spiraling through paradise
Though I've the wrong impression
If we exchange vision
You will clearly see
You want to be
Reflection
Of my
Eyes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blue Orchid...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon the Uni portal, watching all the passing mortals
Over heads of many studious fellows whom I would gladly ignore
While my legs were hanging, awkward, left leg, right leg backward, forward
Suddenly came crashing downward, cowardly upon the floor
" 'Tis no other head," I muttered, "For whom I jumped off to floor"
There you stood while I'm on floor...

Startled at my sudden falling, your amazed face I'm recalling
But my styling made you smiling which I've never seen before
Though I admit that sub-mission was not quite a good decision
And despite my pre-position I don't know why my back sore
You shook head and passed me by perhaps you thought I'm junkie or
Monkey at the Uni door...

"Ouch" I screamed and hardly stood, I rubbed my hand upon confused eye
In that undecided mood my mind was thinking, "I'm a dork!
She was right there but I let pass, tumbled as if wheel out of gas
Should not I be kicking own ass repeatedly back and forth?"
Since 'twas hard to move my own back, harder I kicked on the floor
"Ouch" to shout and nothing more...

On my way to home, quite trampled, I planned simple, picked one sample
For you, wished it would be ample to show it's you I adore
Although I'd have chosen red rose, or white or black or what who knows?
That blue orchid seemed to be close matching to the shade you wore
This I thought of that blue orchid for roses I was not sure
Unmatched to your bold allure...

Next day by the Uni portal not atop the passing mortals
For I have known it is fatal when body crashes on floor
Let myself be my guarantor, I've become The-Myself-Mentor
While on hang the legs act traitor empty space they do abhor
Down from portal I'm a mortal and to myself I assure
I'll be hanging nevermore...

Time was slow in expectation of your face in population
Impatient, with hesitation asked where'bouts to friend of yours
No class today told by your friend, coming day I'll have to depend
On the coming lonesome weekend, wished the days were less, not more
Wished that orchid will not wither and will last for some days more
One day, two days, three days, four...

Back upon the Uni portal away from all other mortals
In my pocket that blue orchid changed to shade the twilight bore
Suddenly I felt quite morbid I did what doctors may forbid
Looking at that withered orchid from it had the petals tore
Then started eating those petals, no instinct of herbivore
Last in me forevermore...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Uninvited...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hate!
oh how
I hate thee
and thy presence.
I wish thee were dead
in thy adolescence.
Thee would not have been this far;
I would not have seen thee with her
Oh! How beautiful she looked alone!
I was to ask her to take my own;
Yet before the words could be quoth
smashed was I to see thee both!
Though there's no disrespect
sometimes I suspect
I can hardly
look at thee
with such
Loathe...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ConFined...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, there I was, you on the otherside
Since there's someone else, my love would not last
But there was this feeling I could not hide
If I said I still love you, would you trust?

Heard about it, never thought it'd be real
Sudden knock-down punch when love's tri-angled
And all I wanted to say how I feel
I did not know my life would be tangled...

And thence you saw me coming to you near
But pretended my shape could not be found
When you walked away, inside I could hear
A dark tempest that rages without sound...
...Unspoken words were for me to confine
...Couldn't tell you that you're mine and I'm thine...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Autistic Mind...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Placed in limbo
Stretched akimbo
The corpse of faith
Hangs upside down
Abandoned with
My unknown guilt
My soul's roaring
One thousand hounds...
I'm just staring
I'm not hearing
I'm not feeling
What's actual
I'll be killing
Not concealing
Insanity
Perpetual...
Humanity
Is dead in me
My mind's abyss
Will Demon-Straight
How beasts unleash
Prey on their feast
With fist of pure
And perfect hate...
I need no cure
Need you for sure
Your bold allure
I can't resist
But you ignore
Fuck you coz your
Ignorance hath
Showed me no bliss...
This wrist of wrath
On blood-bathed path
And punctured chest
Surround in me
A dark tempest
From scarlet depths
Rages through spine
Quite soundlessly...
You see no sign
That I'm not fine
But you can't say
What I might do
I may display
To your dismay
The sight of hell
I'm going through...
The bad-luck smell
Of dark expelled
The slightest white
That used to be
I'll wrong your right
Turn off your light
You'll envision
The beast in me...
Gained precision
In strayed vision
Unholy thoughts
Are to succumb
You want me not
Well thanks a lot
Won't recognize
What I've become...
Demoralized
With somber eyes
I banged my face
Against the wall
Detached, displaced
Debased, disgraced
Cannot express
What was my fault...
I hate this place
I hate his face
This hatred is
The source of joy
A cold dismiss
To all your bliss
And whom you like
Shall be destroyed...
Dark angels smiled
In cut-throat style
And my mind plays
The Evil part
Saw a man's face
Chopped off its place
I picked it up
Nailed in your heart...
And there I laughed
And there I laughed
And then I fell
And then I cried
I cannot tell
Why I'm not well
I cannot live
I cannot die...
I'm not the me
I used to be
SOMEONE KILL ME
Can't kill myself
But I can't see
You're not with me
And you can't be
With someone else...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Blackout...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soundless voices, nefarious laughter
This dark symphony echoes through my space
Beneath the black beam of night, I alter
To the man that I fear and cannot face...
When in silence, your voice could still be heard
I recall the time I grew decrepit
And listened to your condescending word
Like one f u c k e d up origami puppet...
I was not the nice type of man, you see
Now this good-for-nothing turned bad for all
And I wonder how you would picture me
With your man's face chopped off, nailed to the wall...
...Trapped in the core of hemoglobin tide
...My perfect blackout is your safest hide...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Paranoia...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is it I feel?
If it has this strength to kill
Wonder if it's real...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued...