Life’s Tombstone…[A Verse to Insomnia]…

Daylight fades and shadows fall
As dark as the night can crawl
I hear my memory’s voice call
And in my corner of brown stare…

Teardrops fall from empty eyes
Present cries till my demise
The clock ticks on, time passes by
…Past lingers on, future’s nowhere…

The night moon’s pallor slowly wanes
Aged pimples left blackened stains
Sloth clouds appear quite certain
…To not to move with frozen air…

Arcane sounds, murk illusionary
Hazy eyes with head so weary
Keep on watching clouds, now serried
…Covered the full moon once familiar…

I want it bad; embrace of bed
But this haunting shadow can’t be fled
So long I’ve tried, so now, instead
…I full the ashtray, sitting on chair…

…A howling night, life’s diary scrolls
A withered rose, on ground it falls
But does it matter? Not at all
…The moon is long gone, disappeared…

Hollowed memories inside head
Awakened by each page’s shred
I read the lines as someone treads
…A zombie whom I’ve always feared…

With a shovel’s strike, the fate he varied
Inflicted mind’s inside he’s buried
Sweet dreams are no longer carried
…Killed by darkest of nightmares…

My wrists hold out with emptied veins
In silver glass, cram crimson rain
The juice of sorrow, drink of pain
…Pinpricked heart with hopes impaired…

And now I watch the bloody sky
Black doves’ lullaby as they fly
Winter’s leaves wave cold good bye
…To a busted soul, beyond repair…

The coffin’s sealed in squared wall
Agreement signed with funeral
My tombstone is now standing tall
…On grave that’s dug with love, unshared…

Do you noD OR Do you noT: Believe in God.!?

“Do you believe in God?”
An e-mail was forwarded to me that day;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Appeared a competition, by the way…

Subject’s quite self-explanatory
You don’t have to think twice, don’t worry
Follow the instructions as provided
Maybe someone will think has guided
You to the path that many have followed
Maybe you won’t feel lonely, wallowed
To reply the mail, it has no price
But I made mistake as I thought twice…

“Do you believe in God?”
As confusing as the question might appear;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Confused again; God appears quiet unclear…

The mail seemed to be some kind of survey
Two people trying to win their own way
They’ve to gather 3 hundred people too
Maximum limit together to head out who
Believe in God and who do not believe
Yeah! A nice way for sure to receive
6 hundred’s mind while 3 hundred astray
To be more accurate, in a numerical way…

“Do you believe in God?”
3 hundred to be listed, I can be Mr. 118 on the list;
“Do you not believe in God?”
I don’t know what number I’ll be with those 3 hundred against…

It said I have to forward the message
To relatives, friends through my mail’s passage
Asked me to put my name in a list
Wow! Good chance for me to be a/theist
Ah! Thanks to whoever sent this opportunity
Yeh yah! Finally I can join a community
Of the believers or the nonbelievers’ hut
Was about to put my name on the list, but…

“Do you believe in God?”
Still thinking to put my name so that a theist I can be;
“Do you not believe in God?”
As always I thought again; maybe my mistake number 3…

I thought it was quite interesting
To know how people are manifesting
Someone Who can never be manifested
By number, name; yet it’s re-quested
I even don’t know shall I say “Oh! God”
Or Allah, Brahma or as some say Lord?
It might be a game for these two people
But this question’s answer isn’t that simple…

“Do I believe in God?”
I asked myself but didn’t reply;
“Do I not believe in God?”
Doesn’t matter to me, myself and I…

I do not believe in anything blindly
But I do believe in being kindly
Though sometimes I’ve to be a bit evil
But not to those kind hearted people
Who stand with me through thin and thick
To them I’ll always be humble, meek
I don’t know how they get their God worded
But don’t worry, that message I’ve forwarded…

“Do you believe in God?”
I hope some of my friends fill up the list out there;
“Do you not believe in God?”
You might label them atheist but do you think I care?

As far as my answer goes about God
I listen to my head so my mind nods
Unto Whoever created this world, beautiful
Now being destructed by some people, cruel
With their hands scratching on their guns
Battling their ways out for reasons none
Power, money, control; are these all they want?
Then I’ve to say I don’t believe God and can’t
Find any reason why God bothered conceiving
To create this earth, where people are grieving
For loss of dear ones, as they are lying dead
With revenge in head, picked up hand grenade
With that same old hand that God had gifted
Now throwing bombshells and this world shifted
From green peace to a fiery place leaving ash
To shoot each other, at each other they smashed
Now crawling with broken bones on a land of hate
This wasn’t what God had in mind and I bet
When God gave you those hands, you had option
To weigh right and wrong to Right’s proportion
To nurture the wounded like healing hand of priest
But I’m sorry to say you turned yourselves to beasts
Now we’re all paying price, everything has its cost
Power, money, control? Backfired, battle lost…

Hey! “Do you believe in God?”
Ask yourself first and then you ask me;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Ask yourself again, still God’s mystery?

I don’t know how these two people got us selected
Be theist or atheist; random choice to be elected?
Maybe God wanted to check humans, how’d they perceive
But humans lost humanity and that’s what I believe
So I believe in this simple thing called “Humanity”
Which does not depend on anyone’s Christianity
Or someone’s being Pagan, Muslim or Hindu
And now I forward your question to you…

So, “Do you believe in God?”
Hope you number out God through your survey’s weighting;
“Do you not believe in God?”
Who was the winner?
Let me know, I’ll be waiting…

Talking To God, Probably...

I look inside my heart
Look inside my mind and soul
My thoughts end then restart
Still Your mystery don’t unfold…

All my thoughts and feelings
They seem to be constricted
As You appear so concealing
Or have You ever existed?

My question is quite simple
But the answer to me seems hard
As You fluctuate from temple
To Mosque or Church’s yard…

This question I have mentioned
To pundits and the priests
“His existence shalt not be questioned”
While some labeled me “ATHEIST”…

“Thou ignorant, thou unaware
His presence forever gleams
Thou shalt be bewared
Thou shalt be afraid of Him”…

“His touch can give thou bliss
He can lead thou through pain’s path
Then thou shalt know Who He’s
When thou suffer His wrath”…

Others said You’re kind, fair
Just, to those who search for Thee
“Shalt I love God, shalt I fear?”
A new question popped up in me…

While some were quite patient
To respond to my inquisition
But I was still unpleasant
Roaming with dissatisfaction…

So, in quest of my answer
The Holly Books I went through
They said You’re The Above, Master
The mortals’ eyes cannot see You…

Many religions to be conceived
Some accepted, some refused
Describing religion as perceived
But they all made me confused...

You speak different languages
Depending on Bible, Geetah, Quraan
You kept changing with edges
Are You several, are You one?

Many Gods worshipped by Hindus
One Allah for the Muslims
Messengers were sent by You
For Christianity’s stream…

Some believe You’re nonexistent
Some are followers of Buddhism
While some are just resistant
Don’t follow You, that’s Satanism…

Male and female Gods from Mythology
Romans, Greeks even have pictures
Yet again I seek for apology
They made me dubious about Your gender…

The Pagans dressed You up great
I guessed I’d at last see your face
You looked beautiful in that state
But to be frank, You seemed lifeless…

There have been many religions
Within them are several sects
Now You make Your decision
And tell me which You is perfect?

Some said You're above there
I looked up but couldn’t see
Retarded with my brown stare
Again I looked inside of me…

I have never seen Your face
But sometimes I think I've seen
I’m always lost without a trace
Keep wandering, where You've been?

People talk about Your wonders
But I wonder about Your creations
Should I blame You for the thunders
Or are the people causing destructions?

Equipped with religious faith
People fight for Your cause
Maybe You blessed them with
War; It’s peace…Or curse?

Politicians spreading fake words
Using You just to be voted
Hey! Did You create the world
Or were You created?

Disheartened as I can be
I thought I will let You go
Off mind; But this curiosity
To find You, thus and so…

I searched You in my pocket
At depart-mental store, in gunny
Instead, I grabbed my wallet
And You appeared money…

I searched You upside down my stair
Searched the ceiling, searched the ground
I searched You everywhere
But You were never found…

I searched You in my bookshelf
You were three letters in dictionary
Enveloped in noun, saw Yourself
You were too intransitive, verbally…

So, I thought I'd walk my own way
Built on my faith, thus I ride
I wish I don’t go astray
When I am for me as my guide...

I’ve beliefs to carry my life through
As variation is Your notion
It doesn’t mean I don’t think of You
But I no longer ask my question…

You'll probably put me through hell
Offended You, maybe it wasn't fair
I’ve heard heaven's alluring tale
But still I do not care...

This world is quite enough
I enjoy every single moment
So, I pray if You're above
And of course, if You’re present...

I’ve heard a thing called rebirth
Do me a favor if You can
I may not be of worth
But still, please make me human...

I know You aren’t time or air
They always seem to quit us
Yet You’re invisibly everywhere
I heard You’re ubiquitous…

Maybe You enjoy invisibility
Maybe You’re shy to be visible
I’ll still search for You in “Humanity”
And last request to You, if possible…

Put people on right track; make aware
Of their might; it seems to be spent
On wrong purposes with their power
But I heard You’re omnipotent…

So, I won’t ask You to bless
me; nor I’ll shout for my bliss
Just make this earth a better place
And give all a little peace…

And I beg pardon, I am sorry
If I questioned Your about
It’s hard to believe Who I can't see
I'm just a human with my doubts...

Oh! To ask You, I forgot
Until the day I die
Again, hope I offend You not
Would You be by my side?

Anyways, I know someday I’ll die
Maybe then I’ll see You somewhere
Jail of Hell or Heaven’s sky
Again, who on the earth cares…

“Hey! Who on earth you think you’re talking?
There’s no body I can see!”
Oh God! Thought You were walking
When I looked inside of me
Who knows...
Maybe it was Thee…
Probably…